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Dublin: 3 °C Monday 14 October, 2019
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A Definitive Ranking Of Your Bank-Related Rage

Say “card reader” again, I dare you.

BECAUSE NOTHING ENRAGES people more than restricted access to their own money, here’s a ranking of the stages of banking rage, from low level fury to all out war.

15. “This machine can only dispense multiples of fifty”

BUT I ONLY HAVE €47 IN MY ACCOUNT.

Ulster Bank ATM 1 Source: Photocall Ireland

14. Bank queues

It’s bad enough that banks are only open when the moon is in Jupiter’s shadow and the stars are aligned with Mars on the seventh Wednesday of the seventh month, but then you have to QUEUE!?

XHXzT Source: Imgur

13. Specifically, the person in front of you in the bank queue

Rest assured they are in the wrong queue/haven’t filled out the slip/didn’t bring ID/can’t remember their PIN/were sent from Hedes to test you.

rage2-2 Source: Thejournal

12. Your address

Hands up how many of you still use your parents’ address for banking?

It’s understandable, because changing your address at the bank requires a blood sacrifice and a vial of Blue Ivy Carter’s tears.

It’s all well and good until you lose your Visa Debit card and they insist on sending your new one to your home address, three hours away.

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11. The AIB security doors

PRESS THE EFFING BUTTON! THAT ONE THERE! PRESS IT!

You only have to wait seconds to get in, but it feels like years.

Ouv2Hol Source: Imgur

10. Trying to speak to someone on the phone

white

ferris-bueller-s-day-off-rooney-s-phone-call-o Source: Gifsoup

9. When this happens

8. When THIS happens

qu Source: Shutterstock.com

7. Cancelling your card…

.. and then finding it as soon as you’ve cancelled it

olx0xRF Source: Imgur

6. Not being allowed to use your card

I just want to spend money in your shop. Why won’t you let me?

box

 5. Being charged for having no money

Just take everything.

71141 Source: Memedad

4. Out of order

This one will resonate if there is only one ATM in the vicinity of your office/house/local and you need that cash ASAP.

You swagger up to the machine, just waiting to feel those crisp notes between your fingers, and then…

service

noopoo

3. IBAN numbers

Sorry, what?

You’ve never heard of an IBAN number and suddenly you can’t blow your nose without needing one.

Finding out what it is is a quest of Harrison Ford/Holy Grail proportions.

2. Verified by Visa

There is a special place in hell for the person who came up with Verified By Visa. It’s an acceptable motive for homicide in some cultures you know?

verifiedbyvisa Source: Felix Cohen

1. The effing AIB card reader

Please, take this tiny calculator and carry it with you at all times because we will ask you to use it at the most inconvenient moment and when you least expect it.

Can’t find it? Allow us to send you a new one… IN 5-7 WORKING DAYS.

cardreader

cr1

cr2

cr3

gif-eye-twitch Source: Wordpress

9 tiny things that drive you completely MAD>

The 16 stages of clothes washing rage>

Here’s why Verified by Visa is officially the worst thing ever> 

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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