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7 incredible quotes from Noel Gallagher

He’s some man for one man.

NOEL GALLAGHER IS 46 today and while his Oasis days may be behind him he’s still as opinionated as ever.

Alongside many famous tunes that he wrote for Oasis he’s come up with some rather impressive quotes over the years, we’ve rounded up a few of our favourites.

On songwriting:

Matt Crossick/Matt Crossick/Empics Entertainment

I wish I could be like a professional songwriter who writes songs for other people and sit down and say “well today I’m going to write another s**t song for One Direction. So, I’ll, let’s write it about f**king washing up liquid or something”. I can’t do that.

On Kylie Minogue:

Justin Thomas/EMPICS Entertainment

She doesn’t even have a good name. It’s a stupid name, Kylie, I just don’t get it

On dogs:

Is there anything funnier than a dog, going down the high street with his face hangin’ out the window? Y’know when you see dogs in the passenger seat, someone’s wound down the window and the dog’s got his face out the window and he’s like “Whoa! We’re goin’ 43 miles an hour!” and he’s got his tongue out!

In fairness to Noel, it is gas:

On Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow:

Ian West/PA Archive/Press Association Images

I like Chris Martin. I think he’s a really great songwriter. He fascinates me, he’s f***ing proper posh. I haven’t met his wife. I somehow don’t think I’d be her cup of tea. I’d like to meet her, it’s Gwyneth Paltrow for f***’s sake, but I guess she wouldn’t like my profanities. I have a habit of swearing a lot

On Liam Gallagher:

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He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.

On The Brit Awards and people wearing hats:

Ian West/PA Wire/Press Association Images

There was nothing going on at the Brits, there was nothing going on at the after-show parties. There seemed to be a lot of young people in hats, with iPhones. They’re either all involved in some massive video game that they’re all hooked up to, or they’re just texting each other saying ‘where are you, what are you doing?’ And they’ve all got hats. Where did the hat come from? We’re going back to some Dickensian nightmare. I don’t understand it.

On what will be put on his tombstone

My tombstone will read: THANKS A MILLION. THAT WAS REALLY FUCKING GREAT. NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY GRAVE.

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