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The 16 stages of clothes washing rage

Smells, tissues, delays, breakdowns. So much rage.

THERE ARE SO many rage pitfalls that come along with the weekly/monthly/biannual (you dirtbird) laundry grind.

Here are just some of them…

1. No clean underwear

This is the first stage in clothes washing rage, because it means you really have to do some laundry.

If you have to start wearing swimwear as underwear, or going commando, you’ve gone too far. TOO FAR.


2. Is this dirty?

If you’re well organised, all of your dirty clothes and underwear will be nicely collected and segregated into some appropriate laundry vessels.

If you’re less organised, you have some unpleasant sniffing in your future.

bodyspray Neonfresh Neonfresh

3. Dropping things on the way to the machine


4. The cycle never started

You’ve piled all of your clothes into the machine, added whatever liquids and powders you needed to add, pressed ‘start’ and minced away, smug and delighted….

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… only to return two hours later to find the clothes dry as a bone and the light blinking uselessly, inexplicably.


5. The cycle never finished

This is worse than ‘the cycle never started’ because now you’re stuck with a load of wet clothes, a drum that’s half full of water, and the probability that your washing machine is broken.

Let’s just hope that this doesn’t turn out to be the cause:

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6. The cycle is neverending

You are literally growing old waiting for it to stop.

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7. You left a red sock in there

Good thing pink is your favourite colour, eh? EH?

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8. You left a tissue in your pocket

You can pluck and pick at it all you like, but you’re never going to get it all off.

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9. You left a tenner in your pocket

And it’s washed beyond repair. Time to take to the bed for the rest of the day. It’s the only thing for it.

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10. You left the clothes in the machine for too long

And now they smell.

You know the smell we mean. Kind of like wet feet, and dog blankets, and old shower curtains.

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11. You left the clothes in the machine for WAY too long

Hey you just forgot*, okay?

*Are the laziest person ever.

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12. There’s a sock missing

You know you put a pair in there. You know you did.

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13. You’re hanging the clothes on the washing line and a wet cold sheet slaps you in the face

That’s a motive for homicide right there.


14. You’re hanging the clothes on a clothes horse and it keeps falling over

The absolute rage.

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15. You need to wear something that’s a little bit damp

What? Never heard of ‘ironing it dry’, or ‘hairdryering it dry’?

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16. You forgot to put the clean laundry away and now it’s bed time

You know what to do…

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Read: How many of these household jobs are you putting off right now?

Pictures: Mother goes on cleaning strike, doesn’t tell kids>

More: 6 things you should no longer need to hide from your parents>

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