Dublin: 13 °C Sunday 14 July, 2024

11 surefire ways to confuse tourists this weekend

C’mere to me.

THIS WEEKEND WE’LL welcome many, many visitors to our fair shores.

How will they cope with our very particular turn of phrase?..


yoke Catherine Kolodziej / Flickr Catherine Kolodziej / Flickr / Flickr

Of course, you could be sound and say “do you see that street on the map there”, but where would be the fun in that?


cliffs ZTW1 / Flickr ZTW1 / Flickr / Flickr

This can really bamboozle them.

“Are you well” can have so many meanings, from “have you lost your mind” to “of COURSE”.


map PhelanRiessen / Flickr PhelanRiessen / Flickr / Flickr

All you’re doing is explaining that she’s a good laugh, but they’ll back away from you, wide-eyed with fear, clutching at their bum bags.



They won’t know if they’re coming or going. Literally.


lep Rev Stan / Flickr Rev Stan / Flickr / Flickr

“Should, should we call the authorities?”


horse AllieCouture / Flickr AllieCouture / Flickr / Flickr

Say this to some tourists and they’ll turn away from the poor taxi, shaking their heads at the bad review you’ve given him. They’ll probably never even notice what a handsome divil he is.


ponies Rick Payette / Flickr Rick Payette / Flickr / Flickr

They’re not even in a garden. Confusion reigns.


room Canadian Pacific / Flickr Canadian Pacific / Flickr / Flickr

They’ll never track down that hotel iron, will they?


cow Washingtonydc / Flickr Washingtonydc / Flickr / Flickr

Again, they’ll go on the hunt for the authorities.


gap / Flickr / Flickr / Flickr

You’ll have completely lost them at this stage.


locked mikelo / Flickr mikelo / Flickr / Flickr

How will we get out?

Read: 11 defining characteristics of an Irish stag do>

Read: Graham Linehan has a clear message for critics of new show The Walshes>

Your Voice
Readers Comments
    Submit a report
    Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
    Thank you for the feedback
    Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.