GIRLS. IT’S TIME.
The season has well and truly turned. We do not need fake tan any more. Here’s why.
You actually don’t have to leave the house between now and Christmas party season
Not if you don’t want to. Chances are you’ve already purchased your winter uniform, too.
The weather does not favour fake tan
Winter in Ireland = heavier rain than summer. Rain + fake tan =
And tights. Tights are the best
From October onwards, we’re in thick tights season. The skin of your legs doesn’t have to be exposed until March at the earliest.
Does anywhere stock one million deniers? Asking for a friend.
It is far, far too cold to be standing around in your undercrackers smearing yourself in brown goo
The aim, in the depths of Irish winter, is to be naked/uncovered for as little time as possible. Fake tanning does not allow us to achieve this aim.
Your bedsheets need a breather
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No doubt they’ve been put through the wringer (almost literally) this summer. Let them go a few months without being streaked with brown, smelling of biscuits.
It’s plain unconvincing
We’re in Ireland. We’re naturally pale people. The sun hasn’t shone in approximately 25 days. Who’s going to believe you came about that tan naturally?
How else are you going to grow your winter coat?
If you keep shaving your legs to apply fake tan, you won’t have a lovely furry layer to show for the winter months. Get to work on that coat!
And your skin is LOVELY
Really. With your lily-white skin, you look like an ice princess. You are Elsa from Frozen. Own it.
