“WILL YOU HAVE some beans?”
“Nah, I’m alright thanks.”
“Really?”
As a nation, Ireland loves beans – but there are a small minority of people who just can’t stand them. Their lives look like this:
1. Your breakfast options are seriously limited when you’re not at home, because beans take up half the plate
Suddenly the plate looks a lot emptier without the ultimate breakfast filler that is beans.
2. And you’ll never understand how people are OK with the bean juice just running all over the plate – ruining the rest of the fry
You watch other people’s plates as the beans slowly creep across, infiltrating the bacon and sausage.
3. People genuinely think that the beans are an essential part of a proper breakfast – and that you’re missing out in life
^missing out on that.
4. Everyone is all like “but how can you enjoy other tomato-based deliciousness and not like beans?”
5. To which you respond that other tomato-based meals don’t have tiny little beans floating in them. Also, the sauce is thick and not bean juice
6. When you look at a plate of beans, all you can see is the tomato juice lake forming
7. You’re actually fine with beans by themselves in, say, a burrito
8. But it’s the combination of beans and juice that gets you – nothing dominates an otherwise dry dinner like the scourge of beans
9. You never got on board with the whole ‘student eating beans on toast’ stereotype
10. Because toast is so much nicer when you don’t have bean juice running off it
11. And finally… you’re willing to try other foods you don’t really like – but not beans
There’s just something about them: the texture, the aesthetics, the colour.
Beans are the worst.
