Dublin: 7 °C Saturday 2 March, 2024
on the dry

8 reasons to keep telling yourself Dry January is the smart choice

The unbearable smugness of being.

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1. Think of all the money you’re saving

You spent the Christmas period buying rounds down the local for someone you sat beside once in Home Ec, and falling for those wine deals in Tesco (“25 bottles for the price of 24? I’LL TAKE 100!”), so now it’s time to recoup it all as you sit on the couch every Friday and Saturday night, spending nothing.

2. No hangovers


Sick of feeling like a boiled shite? Well, welcome to the world of actually getting up and doing something on a Saturday morning. Maybe you can even go to Ikea without wanting to hurl yourself into a pile of Billy Bookcases.

3. Increased cinema time

Think of all the deadly Oscar-worthy films you’re going to see over the next few weeks. Sure, you’ll spend all the money you’re saving on booze on €18 popcorn and €13 Maltesers, but you’ll be so cultured.

You better get booking those tickets though:

4. Farewell to Tearful Tuesday

Everyone knows that the true post-weekend fear hits on a Tuesday, when you sit wobbly lipped as you try to come to terms with the fact that someone has eaten the last of your peanut butter in the office kitchen.

With no drinking comes less fear. You’ll be much better equipped to handle PeanutButterGate.

5. The healthy glow

You’re probably going to be doing things like ‘walking’ on a Sunday morning now. Or maybe visiting the ‘gym’ (are we saying that right?). People will be stopping you in the street to tell you how great you look. “Glowing” they’ll say.


6. Unbearable smugness

Let’s not cod ourselves. The true meaning of Dry January is rubbing it on other people’s faces. You might be as miserable as sin but by God you’re not going to let the haters see that.

7.  You get three lives

EVERYONE knows you get three free passes during Dry January.

Already bet into a glass of wine before you realised it? One life gone.

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Pal turning 30 and you HAVE to go for a drink? Just use one of your lives.

8. There are only four Saturdays between now and February

You can do it, pals. You can do it.

8 delicious non-alcoholic pub drinks to get anyone through Dry January