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Dublin: 9 °C Wednesday 22 May, 2019
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9 things anyone who DESPISES coconut knows to be true

Get. It. Off. Our. Food.

IN THE PAST few years, the world has become obsessed with coconut. For those of us who despise coconut, this is not a good thing.

END THE COCONUT TYRANNY NOW.

1. There are crumbles of desiccated coconut on everything these days

For my cravings today! #boredomstrikes #homebaking #desiccatedCoconut

A post shared by Ire Sarmiento (@sweetdesires13) on

Rolling something in desiccated coconut automatically ruins it as a dessert. It’s not a treat any more.

2. And you can taste it even if you can’t see it

Rude AF.

3. Everyone’s trying to get you to cook with coconut oil

Best friends! #sweetpotato #camote #paleolifestyle #aceitedecoco #coconutoil #paleomexicanfood

A photo posted by Iosu Armas (@iosuarmas) on

You think you can sneak the coconut in, but we see you.

4. And drink their heinous coconut water

Here’s the truth: It tastes like death. Don’t even pretend.

5. There are always too many of these in a box of Celebrations

CkybZMCWsAA4r8d Source: Twitter/@PeterMcGrath10

The most disappointing sight.

6. And you have to wonder what kind of coconut agenda Mars are pushing

Who’s paying you, Mars? The coconut lobby?

7. The texture is extremely upsetting

Think of the mallow part of a Mikado biscuit.

Haven't had a Mikado in c. 100 years. So delicious.

A photo posted by Colette Fahy (@coletteness) on

Think of how it has been desecrated by stringy, dry desiccated coconut that just hangs around in your mouth forever afterwards. Think about that.

8. You can just about put up with the smell

hawaiiantropic Source: Boots.ie

It’s vaguely summery. You can be into that.

9. But everything else coconut can jog on

Especially the desiccated stuff. Come near us with that and you die.

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