1. Spending hours carefully plotting and planning the perfect theme park…
2. …Then giving all the rides and shops rude names just so you could see the guests say “BOOBS is great value!”
3. Charging people astronomical prices to go to the bathroom
4. Opening elaborate rollercoasters you couldn’t afford to finish, which ended like this. Whee!
5. Opening a rollercoaster that delivered guests into a pit, where they would remain forever more
6. Getting angry with guests who littered when there were bins RIGHT THERE
7. Getting angry with guests who puked after going on the intense ride you created just to make them puke
8. Getting angry at your janitors for not cleaning up the puke and the trash fast enough
9. Seeing just how high you could build a rollercoaster (answer: very high)
10. Creating really, really, ridiculously long queues
11. ’Punishing’ rude guests in creative and sinister ways
12. ’Punishing’ guests for no reason at all in creative and sinister ways
13. ‘Peep bowling’ – or purposefully putting the end of a rollercoaster track where it would crash into guests
14. Running out of money and firing all your janitors, hiking entry prices up to $100 and making burgers $50 a pop
15. Seeing if you could kill every guest in the park in one go
16. And clicking on people’s balloons to pop them because you really were an evil bastard
