AS ADULTS, WE are responsible for getting ourselves out of bed, dressed and presentable in the mornings.
Most of us have a handle on it now, but even a slight change in the routine can really throw a spanner in the works. Getting up at the crack of dawn can mean good, fun things like going on holiday, but it can also be for not-so-fun reasons.
But whether it’s for fun or not, the thought process is always the same. Unless you’re the kind of person who enjoys getting up at ridiculous o’clock. Are you even human?
9pm the night before: I should be going to bed now. In fact, I’ll brush my teeth and put on my jammies and everything. God I’m great.
9.30pm: Pretty Woman is on! Ah here. Have to watch that.
11pm: I should REALLY go to bed now.
11.20pm: *scroll, scroll*
12am: And now I’ll just drift off to sleep. I’ll get, what, four and a half hours? Grand.
12.30am: Four hours…
1am: Three and a half…
1.15am: Zzzzzz
4.30am: *fumbles with alarm* *presses snooze*
4.32am: Zzzzzzz
4.45am: JESUS GOD I HAVE TO GET UP
4.50am: I must be quiet now. Family/housemates are sleeping. *knocks over glass of water* ARAH
4.55am: *stumbles around in the dark, stubs toe against bed*
5am: Everyone else is asleep. Isn’t that nice for them? Being asleep?
5.05am: I’m staaaarving. I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m HANGRY*. Whose idea WAS this, anyway?
*hungry and angry
5.10am: Mmmff. Maybe coffee will help.
5.15am: More coffee.
5.20am: When I get to the airport/work/place I have to be up ridiculously early for I’m going to have EVEN MORE COFFEE.
5.25am: When I get home/on the plane/back from the place I have to be up ridiculously early for I’m going to have SUCH A HUGE NAP.
5.30am: *realisation sinks in* I’m not going to be able to nap for hours.
5.35am-rest of day:
