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Dublin: 21 °C Friday 19 July, 2024
good intentions

The 12 stages of 'going to bed early'

None of which include actually going to bed early.

The inception

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The minute you wake up you think, ‘that’s it, I’m going to bed early tonight’.

The commitment

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You spend the day talking about the fact that you’re going to bed early.  Could be as early as 8pm. WHO KNOWS?

The resistance

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People invite you to go to the cinema, or for an after work drink.  No, no, you say, I’m going to bed early tonight!

The outfit

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You go home, put your pyjamas on immediately, because you won’t be up for long.

The delay

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You watch some telly while you eat your dinner, thinking, I’ll go to bed after this.

The denial

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You watch another episode, telling yourself that if you go to bed straight after this one, it’s still an early night.

The process

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You brush your teeth and wash your face, make yourself a chamomile tea and change your sheets.  You want to have a really good night’s sleep, so it’s worth the extra effort.

The update

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You’ll just check your phone before you go to sleep, make sure that you haven’t missed anything important.

The realisation

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Crap!  It’s 11!  Is that still early?  Are you still having an early night?!? Probably not.

The denial

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You turn your lamp off, lie down and calculate how many hours of sleep you’re going to get.  Still eight hours!  That’s ok!

The acceptance

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You lie there watching the minutes tick by and recalculating the amount of sleep you’re going to have until eventually, at around 6 hours you fall asleep.

So much for an early night.

The inception

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The minute you wake up you think, ‘that’s it, I’m going to bed early tonight’.

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