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Dublin: 3 °C Friday 3 April, 2020

This is the only newspaper headline you need to see today

Trust us.

IN CLACTON, ENGLAND, this just in.

Well, it was in last week’s paper but the urgency is only spreading to the wider world now.

Wow. Sounds like the culinary experience to beat all others.


Spoiler: He’s talking about having a kid. Rest easy in the knowledge.

We’re guessing the Austrian president hasn’t dealt with Irish timekeeping before>

Billy Ray Cyrus retweeted a photo of ‘fan’ Jimmy Savile in unfortunate Twitter prank>

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