1. When she sees someone with a brand new car
“Oooooh 161. Well for some”.
2. When someone is getting a new conservatory
Sure it’ll cost a fortune to heat. That’s how she’ll console herself. And she’ll be watching like a smug hawk for condensation problems.
3. When someone is getting a new patio
“Sure they’ll never get the weather for that”.
4. If someone is going on second holiday
“Malta, is it? Weren’t they just in Per-ping-yong?” *sniff*
5. If someone’s child does something nice for them
“Diarmuid brought Marie one of those Blue Book vouchers for Christmas”.
*casts eyes wistfully atIrish Mammies book and yet another scarf*
6. If someone uses their health insurance to avail of a medical service
This is despite the fact that your mam has her own health insurance, which she can also use for her benefit.
7. When someone is getting an extension
Cue much eyebrow-raising about planning permission.
8. Any sort of lie in
“Making maggots in the bed. Well for some. I’ve already been for a walk.”
