Dublin: 11 °C Thursday 23 May, 2024
on the town

10 mortifying elements of the Irish night out

How far will you get tonight?

1. Coming to believe that you’re God’s gift to the dancefloor

2. Repeatedly telling people you love them

As if they don’t believe you. “No, REALLY. You’re SO GREAT.”

3. Spilling drinks all down yourself/someone else

Lucky you didn’t need that shirt anyway.

Flickr/Andrew St. Clair

4. Attempting to walk down nightclub steps in a graceful, gazelle-like fashion

5. Trying to light a cigarette at the wrong end


6. Making a very serious point about something, but halfway through realise you’ve forgotten why you started talking

7. Trying it on with someone in the wholehearted belief that you are being extremely smooth


8. Filling the sent folder of shame


9. Performing the Irish goodbye

Legging it without telling anyone so you won’t be forced to have another drink.


10. Falling asleep somewhere very uncomfortable


Hello, sleep. Hello, joint pain.

Have a great night!

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