1. Noting a general, all-over body ache
2. Checking your calls log, sent messages and Snapchat story regularly and methodically
Just to make sure you didn’t do anything.
3. Messaging every group chat you’re in, hoping they feel it too
Am I alone in this unrelenting dread? Somebody ANSWER ME!
4. Covering all the clocks and timers in the house
No. No reminders.
4. Covering yourself
As many blankets and hoodies as you can assemble on your person. Swallow me whole, oh fleecy warmth.
5. Fixating on one specific event from the night before
“That man I spoke to in the coat queue. What were we talking about? Where is he now?”
6. Believing that the JustEat delivery man is judging you
“Have a good night,” he says to your quivering, pyjama-clad self. HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS YOU’RE HAVING A BAD NIGHT.
7. An all-consuming need for comforting sounds and visuals
Play the kitten video again, Sam. Again.
8. Deeply regretting scheduling any meetings or appointments for the next day
You thought you’d be good and book a dentist’s appointment. Why’d you do that, ye plank?
9. Hearing the Glenroe theme in your head, even though the show ended 15 years ago
I WON’T GO TO BED MAM.
10. Doing this
God help us all.
