Dublin: 16 °C Monday 14 June, 2021

10 essential facts of life for people who don’t like ketchup

How? Why?

1. You can’t understand how people want everything to taste of ketchup

Meat Source: crayolarabbit

Like, every single thing on their plate should taste of ketchup, apparently. If a food item is not touching the ketchup, they dip it right in there.

No other flavour exists for these people.

2. You’ve actually seen people add it to pizzas ffs

The sauce is *already there*. It’s madness.

3. People drench all their chips in ketchup and it ruins it for you when you want to sneak a sly one

Chips are for sharing, not for ruining.

4. Your family and friends need to understand that you can still like tomatoes and dislike ketchup because they are NOT the same thing

Let’s never compare something like this to ketchup:

5. Because you’ve always struggled to understand why ketchup tastes nothing like tomatoes

At all.

6. The whole glass/plastic ketchup jar debate means nothing to you

heinz Source: heinz

And never will.

7. No matter where you are, ordering a burger is plagued with ketchup-based fear

Burger wie noch nie Source: kadluba

“Can I get no ketchup on that please?”

*opens burger to see ketchup*

8. There’s an assumption that because ketchup is so inherently bland that *everyone* must like it

Mmm...ketchup Source: jeffreyw

Oh no.

9. Getting something at the deli is heartbreaking because you see so many rolls drenched in the stuff

bacon and egg Source: rock_rollheart

Taco sauce is even preferable.

10. And finally… you feel like you’re the only one in the whole world who thinks it’s both too sweet and too thick

French Fries Source: El Gran Dee

That texture.

Please, no.

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About the author:

David Elkin

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