MEN HAVE THE ‘boxers or briefs’ conundrum. Women have thongs, bikini briefs, Brazilians, full briefs, hipsters, boy shorts…
Presenting: The nine types of knickers every Irish girl has in her underwear drawer.
Fally-downy knickers
These ones are either a size too big or a size too small (thanks, Penneys) and are avoided until all the good ones are in the wash – at which point you’ll be going around all day with your hands stuck to your waistband. *shakes fist*
Period knickers
Old faithfuls brought out once a month to perform an honourable service, then discharged (sorry) for three weeks.
They’re a bit battle worn, but honestly, you’d be lost without them.
A bunch of thongs from when you decided to try thongs
Then promptly realised you never wanted to wear a thong again (until laundry day).
The ‘sexy’ knickers
Bought to impress someone or other, but featuring so many frills and flounces as to make them wholly unwearable.
The expensive knickers bought to match a bra
That time you swore you’d only wear matching underwear from now on. How’s that going for you?
The expensive knickers you ruined by sticking them in any old wash
What was delicate baby-pink lace is now a dishwater grey rag. Into the period knicker pile they go!
‘Pink’ knickers
Another serviceable pair lost to the ravages of the colour wash :(
The knickers with writing on the arse
That you either a) still have from when you were a teenager or b) accidentally picked up while you were in a rush at Penneys.
You live in fear of getting knocked down by a bus with “Hello Boys” scrawled in neon pink across your backside.
The One Good Pair
These are the perfect size, a decent colour, and stay exactly where you need them to be all day long. In fact, you barely feel as if you’re wearing undies at all.
You don’t know where you found these knickers, but you know you’re never letting them go.
