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darkest fears

18 little things that put the fear of God in every Irish person


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1. The thought of not being ‘let in’ to America

2. “Can I just grab you for a quick second?” NO NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE

3. The ever-looming spectre of the TV license inspector

4. The dawning realisation that you stood in the slower queue, and it’s a REALLY slow queue

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5. Figuring out what to tip someone

6. The prospect of explaining to a waiter that your order is wrong

7. Guards. Any guards. Anywhere

8. Coming in to the office the day after a work party

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9. Remembering that the celebrity babies of your youth are teenagers now

10. And Saoirse Ronan has been nominated for two Oscars and she’s just 22

11. Leaving Cert dreams. Even decades later

12. Seagulls, and their beady little eyes

13. Going to the passport office. You’ve definitely forgotten some essential component, haven’t you?

14. Garda checkpoints

15. Your dad gearing up to give out to you

16. Your mam saying “Oh that’s fine” in a very pointed manner

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17. Having to ring up the Revenue for any reason

18. Checking your bank account at the end of a long, long month

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