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Last night's Love/Hate: Sexting, mammies and topless tapping

And when will Darren get the ride? Everything we learned from last night’s horrorshow.

SUNDAY NIGHT IS Love/Hate night. And Monday morning is when we look back at the previous night’s excitement.

Did you play our Love/Hate Drinking Game along with last night’s episode? If not… well, you probably don’t have a Cidona headache this morning like we do. Good for you.

Last night’s episode saw the series take a distinctly darker turn. Here’s what we learned:

1. Here’s an opening shot of the Virgin Mary

Know why we’re seeing this? Because we’re about to get a horrific montage of Debbie’s working day in the brothel. That’s why. (It’s ironic, see?)

2. Real gangsters don’t close the door when they’re having sex

Now THAT’s what I call defying social conventions.

Not great for Darren though. Will nobody sleep with Darren? He’s so dreamy. And sad:

3. Dano is a big soft mammy’s boy

“Here’s your breakfast, Daniel.” Morto for him.

4. Nidge is on Facebook

Wonder what his profile pic is? We’re guessing it involves NidgeFace (TM).

“Interests: Drug trafficking, prostitution, Dano’s missus LOL”

5. “It’s fine”

Little lesson for you, Tommy, after you ditched Debbie. When a girl says “It’s fine” with this face, it is NOT FINE.

Something terrible will come of this. We know it.

6. Tony must mean business…

… because he’s got a DIAGRAM

It’s basically like The Wire in Dano’s HQ.

To be honest, it looks like a bit of a pointless diagram. But hey – we’re not IRA enforcers, are we? Maybe he’s just visually minded.

7. Tommy is a real gent #1

Aww.

8. There’s only so much you can smuggle into the ‘Joy

Poor Ado’s missus. He wants her to take everything.

“Phone as well.”

“It’s not a bleedin’ lockup I have in there. It won’t fit.”

9. Tommy is a real gent #2

“I’ll go away with you for a weekend,” he tells Georgina. “It’s just, I can’t… afford it right now.”

And look at his big Bambi eyes. Shame on you, Tommy. Hang your head.

10. Git’s real name was ‘Christopher’

Doesn’t exactly have ‘feared ‘RA leader’ all over it, does it? No wonder he changed it to something snappier.

11. Ado is a big romantic… NOT

He just wants to cheer up his brother in the Joy by paying his ex-missus to send him some sexy texts. “Send a picture of your tits to cheer him up, eh?”

Let’s bear in mind that the picture will be arriving on a phone that’s been up Ado’s behind. All in all, it’s a rosy scene.

12. These Are The Jackets Of Gangland

Seriously. They ALL wear them. Plastic leather with loads of zips. They’re the gangland equivalent of the tea lady’s floral apron.

13. Nidge might, possibly, maybe be a little jealous that Tommy slept with Georgina

This scene was pretty horrible. Bring back NidgeFace. All is forgiven.

14. Topless tapdancing with the IRA, anyone?

Tapdancing. It’s so… macho.

Especially if all your topless mates are standing around watching you dance topless. Mm-HMMM.

PS: THE HEAD ON THE GUY ON THE RIGHT.

15. ‘Git was like one of our Mandelas’

“But with more pigeons.”

16. Jeez. We’d better relax after all the excitement in this episode

Sure where else would I put my hand? I’m RELAXING.

17. This is all going to end very, very badly

Oh dear.

PLAY: The Unofficial Love/Hate Drinking* Game>

Fat rabbits and a baby in a brothel - Love/Hate episode 3 recap>

Fish tanks and Bambi eyes - Love/Hate episode 2 recap>

Diggers and kegs - Love/Hate episode 1 recap>

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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