SHE’D NEVER SAY it outright. She’d never imply that she has eyes for anyone but your da. But your mam definitely has a few celebrity ‘favourites’.
1. Michael Bublé
Your mam still has all of his specials and Graham Norton appearances saved on the Sky Box and WOE BETIDE YOU if you delete them.
2. Neven Maguire
She would be first in line to meet him if he did a book signing in the local Easons, but tell you she only did it for her friend Breda. “Sure it’s Breda who loves him,” she’ll say.
3. Dermot Bannon
Dermot can do no wrong in her eyes. She’d love to see what he’d make of the kitchen.
4. Pasha off Strictly
“I might do a ballroom dancing class,” she says, staring starry-eyed at Pasha. She was distinctly ruffled upon discovering he’s “doing a line” with Rachel Riley off Countdown.
5. Donal Skehan
Your mam pretends that you fancy Donal more than she does. She rings to inform you that “your fella” is on Saturday Kitchen again. No mam. Your fella.
6. Hugh Grant
Catnip to mams. Put her in front of Four Weddings and a Funeral of an evening and she’ll be happy as Larry.
7. Leonard Cohen
How you know your mam was cool, once upon a time.
8. Noel Fitzpatrick the Supervet
You frequently find her in floods as she watches Noel fitting Labradors with bionic hind legs. Isn’t he a wonder?
9. Ronan Keating
She held a candle for Ronan long after you gave up on Boyzone, and followed his marriage to Storm with some interest. “Storm! What kind of a name is that,” says she.
10. And Ant and Dec, even if she can’t tell them apart
God bless them, they’re just great lads. And friends for so long!
