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Dublin: 2 °C Sunday 17 November, 2019
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Noel Gallagher's band contains a woman who plays... the scissors

Cutting edge technology. (Sorry.)

EARLIER THIS WEEK, Noel Gallagher appeared on Later with Jools Holland, performing his new single She Taught Me How To Fly.

Source: BBC Music/YouTube

Grand and all, but what caught people’s attention was the woman in the background who was silently, determinedly playing the scissors.

liamg Source: YouTube

That concentration:

scissors Source: YouTube

Now, we can’t hear the fruits of her labour in the performance (unless you have superhuman hearing and you can? Let us know) but she seems very serious about the whole thing. Holding them up to the mic and all.

Could it be that all this time the only key to being a successful musician was a well-stocked stationery drawer?

There has been some amount of incredulity at this revelation:

Some people are assuming it’s a reference to the video for John Lennon’s Instant Karma, in which Yoko Ono can be seen knitting blindfolded beside him.

Source: johnlennon/YouTube

Our bet, though? Noel is taking the mick in the hopes of drawing Liam out. It’s the only plausible answer.

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