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Dublin: 5 °C Wednesday 11 December, 2019

9 foolproof ways to get ahead in the office

By making your colleagues’ lives hell.

TODAY IS THE birthday of Niccolo Machiavelli, the man who schooled generations in nefarious ways to get ahead.

He was thinking mainly about the machinations of the Italian court – which is essentially the sixteenth-century equivalent of your office.

In honour of Machiavelli, we salute these 11 people who are getting ahead by making their workmates’ lives a misery.

1. The person who filled all these cups with water

And stapled them together.


2. The person who stuck this picture of Nicolas Cage in the photocopier


3. All the people who came into their office at night and walled off the corridors


4. The person who went Deep Autocorrect

Looking forward to doing business with you. Regards, Bumface.

5. The person worried their boss wasn’t a team player


6. The person who executed this incredibly successful double-bluff prank


7. This person


8. The person who came up with this brutal coffee scheme


9. And the evil genius who decided to destroy their workmates’ days with this:



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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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