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working for the man

The DOs and DON'Ts of working in an office

These simple rules will get you through the day.

AH, THE OFFICE. If you work in one, it’s probably where you spend the majority of your life.

That being true, it’s worth being aware of a few ground rules. These simple DOs and DON’Ts will keep you on the straight and narrow.

DO aim for a desk with a view


DON’T let anyone tell you your filing system is wrong


DO try to enjoy any interactions with everyday customers


DON’T put anything you love or treasure in the office fridge

Passive Aggressive Notes

DO write yourself fake emails to avoid talking to people in the lift


DON’T be the guy who stands silently in the middle and makes everyone else feel weird


DO avoid changing the water cooler wherever possible

DON’T fall for the media myth that water coolers are an easy place to strike up the chats

DO accept that your caffeine addiction rules you, and must be fed at all costs


DON’T overdo it before anything important


DO maintain a sense of humour about your office’s little failings


DON’T write passive-aggressive notes


DO accept that you will never get to poo in peace


DON’T ever enter the bathroom after that one person who always makes it smell really bad

Every office has one.


And men! DO be mindful of proper urinal etiquette at all times

Staring silently ahead will be fine.

DO be selective about your lunch companion

That guy who tells stories about his ring-binder collection? Not the way you want to spend 60 minutes.


But DON’T be too selective

We’ve all got to eat.

DON’T get embroiled in office prank wars


But if you have to, DO win them by any means necessary


If you’re bored, DO try and stay creative


And DON’T watch the clock

It will destroy you. Here is an accelerated time-lapse animation of the clock in your office.


Have a great day!

Did we miss any key office rules? Let us know in the comments…

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