1. The microwave queue
2. Not being able to find your favourite mug in the cupboard
3. Trying to think of an appropriate message to write in the card that’s going around for Brian in Accounts, whom you have never spoken to
4. Aircon wars
5. The slow zombie crawl towards somone’s desk, accompanied by a slow, zombie chorus of Happy Birthday
6. Figuring out when it’s acceptable to pounce on the treats someone has left in the ‘usual place’
7. Discovering some rotter has taken a tablespoon to your precious peanut butter
8. Being confronted with the truly horrific remnants of something that was left the fridge for months
9. Seeing someone you don’t really know heading to the lift, and making an unnecessary detour to avoid awkwarness
10. Not seeing this until it’s too late, and standing in silence all the way down, mentally clawing at the walls
11. Realising that someone is being suspiciously quiet in the adjoining toilet cubicle, and hurrying yourself along to give them some peace
12. Being the suspiciously quiet person in the adjoining toilet cubicle
13. When the bathroom is smelly and you want to scream at everyone who enters: “THIS WAS NOT MY DOING! I DID NOT MAKE THE SMELL!”
14. When someone gives out about the state of the kitchen and you nod along even though you left a porridge-y bowl in the sink this morning
15. When everyone in the office is sick and all you can hear is coughing and sniffing and spluttering and you are just ON EDGE
16. When there is an officewide giddiness but you actually have to get work done
17. Doing everything you can not to snap at the person who hits the space bar like the fist of an angry god
18. Being on an eternal quest for a working pen
19. And realising that the printer is actually a decorative object. It does nothing
