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Down With Online Shopping

10 simple reasons why so many of us absolutely despise online shopping

We need instant gratification.

THERE EXISTS A misconception that we’re all absolutely mad for online shopping.

If we’re not willingly blowing our pay packet on ASOS at the end of every month, we’re drunkenly placing orders for multi-packs of novelty T-shirts that have no hope of fitting us.

PastedImage-63959 acbrownie / Twitter acbrownie / Twitter / Twitter

Or so we’re led to believe.

But here’s the thing, not everyone spends their time trawling online stores.

And that’s because it’s absolutely hellish.

And we know this because we gave it a whirl, and quickly decided we were out.

If you’re someone who would actually rather battle crowds of people and grapple with hangers in overheated changing rooms than pick something up online, you’re not alone.

And for anyone who doesn’t get it, here are just a few reasons why some of us will never be able to play the online shopping game.

1. We hate the fact that it sometimes involves a trip to the post office.

A trip to the post office is a big deal, and always involves some strategic planning.

They have odd opening hours and they deal with various important things which you regularly need to check in with your mam about, so why would you dare do something that may require a visit to one?

2. We know the size on the tag is often redundant.

Look, not many of us can confidently disclose our clothing size, and that’s because it varies from store to store and (for some of us) from day to day.

If you’re the type person who brings three sizes of the same top into a fitting room, online shopping isn’t for you.

3. We can’t feel the fabric or the amount of give in the garment.

Oh, the site may give a comprehensive overview of the garment’s components, but it means feck-all to you on a laptop screen.

You can’t help that you’re a naturally tactile person and need to get a feel of the garment before committing to anything.

4. We’re the type of people who need instant gratification.

The idea of waiting in excess of a week for an item of clothing is absolutely inconceivable to us.

People say online shopping is quick and convenient, but how can that be the case when the money has left your account and you’re still waiting on a pair of jeans you’re not even sure you’ll be keeping.

5. We’ve been scarred by memes dedicated to online shopping fails.

There’s a reason there are so many Twitter threads dedicated to online shopping fails, and that’s because it’s an exercise in trust which isn’t always rewarded.

Seriously, who needs that?

6. We think it’s more time-consuming, than time-saving.

Again, how can a transaction which has the potential to involve a trip to the post office be considered time-saving?

And how can spending half your night scrolling sites be a time-saver when you could pop into a couple of shops over the course of an hour?

7. We get easily overwhelmed.

For online shopping addicts, the sheer amount of choice is what keeps them coming back, but for the rest of us, the thousands upon thousands of potential items leave us in a cold sweat.

What’s the difference between that black top and that black top? Well, if we could actually get a feel of them, we’d know.

8. We assume we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Look, the vast majority of online shopping cynics have been burned in the past, and we can’t help but assume our next foray into the world of digital bargain hunting will result in the same anguish.

9. We refuse to fall victim to potential technological glitches.

A site crashing as you enter your credit card details or an item suddenly ‘selling out’ despite the fact it’s safe in your basket is not something that appeals to us.

10. We refuse to accept that a delivery charge should cost more than some of the items.

We’re already concerned that we’ve spent money on items that are very unlikely to fit and will bring us nothing but heartache, and now we’re being asked to pay for the ‘privilege’?

No. It’s not on. And shouldn’t we be refunded the delivery charge if we return the item?

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