THIS IS THE story of a woman completely losing her dignity in her quest to maintain it. It’s a story of grit and triumph. Settle in now, because it’s a doozy.
Liam Smyth, a sociology student at Bristol University, recently met a girl on Tinder and took her out for a slap up meal in Nando’s.
After dinner, they went back to his to watch a Louis Theroux documentary (great date, TBH) – the girl got up to use the toilet, but returned with a “panicked look in her eye” and said:
I went for a poo in your toilet and it would not flush. I don’t know why I did this, but I panicked. I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window.
Why would you ever admit to this? Well, Liam can explain.
Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.
Please observe this ‘twilight zone’.
Liam wanted to smash open the window with a hammer but his date, fancying herself an amateur gymnast, decided to reach into the window to extract the poo.
The girl was successful in this regard, but then the real problem began:
She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck. Stuck fast.
So he called the fire brigade – and after 15 minutes, she was free, but the window was completely destroyed.
Liam set up a GoFundMe to help cover the £200 for repairs, but the story quickly spread over social media – and donations now stand at £2067.
A few companies have since offered to fix the window free of charge, so Liam has pledged to give all of the money to charity.
What a story. And to think it all started with a poo…
