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wide awake

12 problems only hardened night owls will understand

Morning always comes too soon.

THE NIGHT, IT’S when you come alive. Nobody understands the tough life of a night owl.

1. An early night is always out of the question

Have an important meeting in work the next morning at 7am? Ha! You may get into bed at 10pm but there’s no way you’re falling asleep until 1 at the earliest.

This is a regular sight, but not because you CAN’T, you just find a lot of distractions as you’ve never been this wide awake and ready for action.

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2. The rest of the world isn’t on your clock

Your boss probably won’t accept that her 9am is really your 9pm, and it’s horribly unfair.

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The shame of waking up with the sun in your face on your days off is best never spoken about.

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3. You get your best ideas and motivation at night

Your leaba is a hotbed of ideas and complete overhaul of attitudes. TOMORROW is the day you start exercising, writing that novel, eating well. You’ll get up and go get ingredients before work and… no. It’s too late to just do it NOW, and in the morning you’ll feel like the walking dead.

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4. There’s never anyone around to keep you amused during your second wind

Try to refresh Twitter one more time. No, those few Americans you follow who are up still haven’t updated.


5. You’ve become increasingly afraid of making noise

Unless you live alone, the kettle is your mortal enemy during a late-night tea or noodle craving. You’ve also memorised all the squeaky floorboards in the house and sneak around to avoid them.

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6. Your alarm clock is your only hope for getting up on time

It’s always there for you, alerting you to when you must rise from your recently-induced slumber. Forget to turn it on, and there’s not a chance you’re making it on time.


If you rely on your phone, setting the ringer to its loudest is a MUST or you’ll just sleep the day away.

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7. You constantly feel like your day goes in reverse

Wide awake at night, sleepier than a newborn sloth in the morning. Why does the world not understand?


8. You can never justify a nap

“I’ll stay awake now and be tired so I can sleep early tonight”.

NOPE. NEITHER of those things are happening and you know it.

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9. Television options are extremely limited

Decide to flick on the TV and you find yourself mesmerised by shopping channels with absolutely no intention of buying the products. You could pretty much reel off the JML catalogue from memory.

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10. You’ll never know the joy of a good breakfast

Due to your late-night binges, you’re never that hungry in the morning even if you were to get up. You might drag yourself out of bed for brunch, but a good breakfast just can’t be beaten.

Not that you’d know.


11. Resentment towards those who get things done before work or college never wanes

Oh, you went to the gym and the post office to pay your bills before the office opened?

Get out.


12. Every day is a race to have the least amount of morning prep work possible

Shower at night, lay out your clothes, calculate minimum make-up application required to not look ghastly depending on sleep banked. You can now dash to work safe in the knowledge that everyone else looks better than you.

But you got a better lie-in, so now.

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