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puff dogs

America believes that it just invented sausage rolls and the whole situation is ridiculous

They sincerely believe that they have just invented them.

PastedImage-79065 Trader Joe's Trader Joe's

AMERICAN FOOD RETAILER Trader Joe’s have pretty much created a replica of the humble sausage roll. Their take on it is America’s first ever glimpse at the product that has graced our delis and cured our hangovers for generations.

People are really getting in their feelings about the whole thing for two reasons: 1) they’re calling it a ‘Puff Dog’ and 2) Americans are now acting like they invented sausage rolls.

Charcoal barbeque The only type of sausages that should be wrapped in pastry. DPA / PA Images DPA / PA Images / PA Images

One thing that people (shockingly) haven’t expressed disgust at, is the fact that they’re made completely of beef. Frankly, the idea of that is quite chilling. Making sausage rolls is a fine art, best left to a Spar that can perfect the texture of the sausage. Don’t try and play God by putting a rubbery Frankfurter inside of a pastry.

Trader Joe’s introduced the snack on their website last week as an alternative to the classic American hot dog. They aren’t even selling them cooked. They’re frozen sausage rolls that you buy and cook at home. This should not be revolutionary or warrant a press release, but alas, here we are.

Every line of this piece gets harder and more upsetting to write as the story goes along, but they’re charging $6.49 for five (!) sausage rolls. Their comment on the pricing is that it’ll “make you want to shout ‘Hot dog!’ You’ll find them in our freezers.”

Hot dog? They want you to scream ‘Hot dog’ when you see five sausage rolls for $6.49? There are some stronger expletives coming to mind right now.

It’s a small testament to the United States’ obliviousness about what is going on in the rest of the world.

Sausage rolls are such a fundamental part of existence in Ireland and the UK that children in home economics classes are taught how to cook them as preparation for their adult lives.

You can’t help but pity every emigrant who has gone over there and found themselves extremely disappointed by the fact that such a simple snack doesn’t exist on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Naturally they’ve received a fair amount of criticism on Twitter.

Even Greggs (who arguably make the best sausage rolls in  the UK) have chimed in on the argument.

Please sue America for this Greggs.

For some reason nobody has addressed the fact that the name sounds like someone taught their pet how to vape.

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