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# sweet sixteen
An Important And Official Ranking Of MTV Reality Shows From The 2000s
Admit it. You came straight home from school and binge-watched all of these.

BACK IN THE EARLY 2000s, MTV shrugged at the ‘M’ in its name and began churning out reality TV shows to beat the band.

Some of them were great, some were indescribably awful – but no doubt you watched them all while lying horizontally on your couch. Here are some of the most popular ones, ranked from best to worst. This ranking is final. 

11. Jersey Shore

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One of the first instances of TV producers picking a bunch of over-tanned, over-plucked wreck-the-heads (Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino standing out as a particular clown) and sticking them in a house together. We have no idea how this got to be so popular.

Also, we can never forgive it for making way for Geordie Shore and The Valleys. Never.

10. The Ashlee Simpson Show

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This was purely a vehicle for the burgeoning music career of Ashlee Simpson, younger sister of Jessica (more on her later). Literally nothing happened. An episode summary on Wikipedia contains this gem:

The ninth episode of the season includes Simpson being given a dog by Ryan Cabrera (at the end of the episode she reciprocates by giving him a hamster).

Ryan Cabrera was, of course, Ashlee’s boyfriend. Here’s a pic, in case you needed to reacquaint yourself with THE HAIR.

US LAUNCH IMPERIA Associated Press Associated Press

9. Newlyweds

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He was in a boy band. She was an up and coming pop singer. Together, they gave us some supremely dumb yet addictive reality TV.

Much of the show revolved around Jessica saying something stupid and Nick being exasperated, the best example of which has to be the ‘Chicken of the Sea’ moment:

Christina haynes / YouTube

Iconic. But not enough to propel Newlyweds into the top five.

8. Rich Girls

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On theme tune hum-ability alone, Rich Girls is number one. In content, though, we’ve just got another round of spoiled rich girls (Ally Hilfiger, daughter of Tommy, and heiress Jaime Gleicher) being rich and spoiled.

The best part was whenever Ally or Jaime would have an existential crisis about their wealth, which happened all too rarely. They just loved being rich!

7. The Hills

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We have The Hills and its cast of drawling, self-obsessed rich kids to thank for Made In Chelsea, TOWIE and Tallafornia. Yeah, THANKS, The Hills.

Shamelessly scripted, it featured captivating drama such as Lauren turning down an internship in Paris to cavort around with her boyfriend. She’ll always be remembered as the girl who didn’t go to Paris!

6. The Osbournes

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The Osbournes was THE programme to watch in 2001, if you could persuade your parents to ignore Ozzy’s heavily bleeped-out ramblings.

Watching The Osbournes made us feel like maybe our own families weren’t so crazy after all. It also provided some great moments of comedy, like this one:

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Love you, Osbournes.

5. Pimp My Ride

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We truly had never seen cars like the cars presented to us by the always enthusiastic Xzibit and the lads at West Coast Customs. Cars with TVs! Cars with fridges! Cars with a car in your car, so you could drive while you were driving!

It was recently revealed that the whole thing was a lie (certain features were only put into the cars for the taping), but damn it if we weren’t impressed at the time.

4. Next

Jordan Walker / YouTube

Next had a group of singletons go on blind dates on a bus – the date could be ended at any point by one of the people screaming “NEXT!” It was humiliating, and we loved it. More dates should be like that, TBH.

Remember when the contestants would give some facts about themselves for the viewers? Priceless.

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3. Made

Dankauf / YouTube

This compelling show involved nerdy American teenagers being ‘made’ into things like cheerleaders, skateboarders and models.

Usually the kids involved were almost unbearably annoying, but that didn’t stop us welling with emotion when they achieved their goal. Go on my son! Be a ladies’ man!

2. My Super Sweet 16

Mysupersweet16 Wikimedia Wikimedia

The show that enchanted teens, scandalised parents, and officially made your 16th birthday A Big Deal. Who didn’t want a disgustingly lavish birthday party after watching this programme? Nobody.

One particularly memorable moment saw a girl sobbing and screaming because her mother gave her her birthday Lexus BEFORE the party instead of DURING it.

shitstinx / YouTube

TV gold. And why is this not in the top spot? Well…

1. Room Raiders

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Imagine being hauled into the back of a van while a stranger poked though your stuff. It’s a nightmare, right? No, it’s MTV trying to get you a date.

Dying with secondhand embarrassment, you watched the contestants watching a hot guy or girl picking up their unmentionables with a tweezers.

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On what other show would you have learned that a black light was something to be feared? No other show. That’s why it’s number one.

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