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Dublin: 11 °C Friday 29 May, 2020
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9 persuasive arguments why every man should have a beard

You know it’s the right thing to do.

TODAY SOME DANGEROUS and potentially catastrophic news was unleashed on an unsuspecting public:

peak1

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The beard is under unprecedented attack. We’re being told that “the more beards there are, the less attractive they become, giving clean-shaven men a competitive advantage”.

But never fear face rug owners and lovers, we’re here to ensure that the beard stays put for many years to come.

Hear us out.

1. The bit of ginge

As every Irish man knows, the bit of ginge is a force so irresistible that women, other men and all other living forms are brought to their knees by it.

Exhibit A:

Beard @ Crookes, Sheffield Source: Flickr

tumblr_lp0tqsLVvg1qlvikyo1_500 Source: Tumblr

Exhibit B (perhaps slightly more persuasive): 

The 86th Academy Awards - Arrivals - Los Angeles Source: Doug Peters/Doug Peters/EMPICS Entertainment

Faints Source: Topman

2. Chris O’Dowd’s beard

It is, quite frankly, stunning, and elevates him from ‘Midlands Man With Naked Face’ to ‘Hollywood Man Starring on Broadway And Having The Craic With Other Celebs*’.

*Okay, maybe his writing and acting has something to do with this too. But the beard certainly helps. 

British Comedy Awards 2013 - London Source: PA Wire/Press Association Images

3. The Fassbender beard outcry

Michael Fassbender showed up at the IFTAs earlier this month beardless. And a nation – nay, A WORLD – mourned.

beardless Source: IFTA.ie

RIP Fassbender’s beard.

4. There is a tumblr dedicated to men with beards near or holding dogs

Without the beards, there would be no such wonderful website. Think about it.

dog1 Source: MenWithBeardsWithDogs

dog2 Source: MenWithBeardsWithDogs.tumblr.com

5. Jeremy Paxman’s beard

When the Newsnight and University Challenge presenter debuted his face rug last year the response was so huge that it trended on Twitter.

He was forced to issue a statement. A STATEMENT! Such is the power of The Beard.

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Paxman shaved his beard off after 147 days. We’re tempted to get up a petition to bring it back.

6. Tom Hardy’s beard

Asked why he rocks a beard, actor Tom Hardy didn’t beat around the bush:

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Exhibit A:

hardy Source: Esquire.com

Exhibit B (in which he still manages to look manly):

e2pBN Source: Imgur

And look, a bonus picture of Bane and Batman, chatting about beards:

Bane and Batman just hanging out talking about beards - Imgur Source: Imgur

7. Blatant beard jealousy

It’s a scourge, but it comes from a place of envy and respect.

That beardist bastard (x-post from /r/beards) - Imgur Source: Imgur

8. You can’t get into George Clooney’s Gang of Magnificent Craic without a beard

Affleck, Murray, Pitt… they’ve all followed the rules.

BAFTA Film Awards 2013 - Afterparty Source: Ian West

70th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals - Los Angeles Source: AP/Press Association Images

9. Look at this. LOOK AT IT

An X-Wing beard. Show us what you can do with your naked faces. Go on. Show us.

x-wing beard - Imgur Source: Imgur

Beards. You know it’s the right thing to do.

The most epic of beards. Make it so. - Imgur Source: Imgur

6 undeniable reasons why every Irish man should have a beard>

Here is yet another reason why you should have a beard>

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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