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have a happy period

9 ridiculous things that always happen in feminine hygiene ads

Dip the pad in the blue water! Dip it!

OVER THE PAST few years, as chat about periods has become less and less taboo, feminine hygiene brands have taken a different tack with advertising.

Always / YouTube

Even though brands are making a big show about being #woke now, TV ads for pads and tampons still contain all the classics of the genre. For example…

1. The women are always wearing something white

whitejeans YouTube YouTube

tampax YouTube YouTube

Something white and/or tiny. Or BOTH. Because they’re so carefree, y’know?

2. They’re always kind of amazed that they can do ordinary things while menstruating

alwaysultra YouTube YouTube

An actual voice over from a recent ad for sanitary towels:

5am! We’re still out – and it’s my period!

3. Or else they’re doing completely extraordinary things not a bother on them

Always UK / YouTube

I love doing aerial gymnastics on my period! I simply will not do it at any other time.

4. There’s the questionable science

9b6c7a5c-c7e4-4ce1-8f03-1abebec691c0.jpg.w480 Target Target

“Infinicel.” “Optima absorb-core.” “Blue secure-guard protective contours.”

*nods* Sure. Suuuuure.

5. The fecking BLUE LIQUID

blue liquid Youtube Youtube

Despite being roundly mocked for years now, the blue liquid is still happening. Whose delicate sensibilities are we still protecting here?

6. The dunking of the pads in buckets of blue water

alwaysinfinity YouTube YouTube

Don’t get me wrong, this looks like fun, but it doesn’t tell me much about how this will work for me. For I am just a woman, and not a bucket of water. Sadly.

7. Not to mention the squeezing of the pad to prove that the blue liquid is safe inside

alwaysultra2 YouTube YouTube

Don’t think about this too much, because it starts getting very disgusting.

8. The creepy talk about the ‘perfect fit’

vhsvillage / YouTube

Pads are “soft” and “mould to your body”, while tampons are “natural” and “smooth”. Shudder.

9. And finally, the general cheery attitude of it all

It reached its peak with this slogan:

havea happy Youtube Youtube

Which women did NOT like.

Have a happy, active, white-clad, blue, ultra-absorbent gel-core securi-wings period, gals.

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