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Dublin: 11 °C Tuesday 23 April, 2019
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Man fights in US court for the right to marry his laptop

The man claims love is love, even between human and computer.

“I NOW PRONOUNCE you man and WiFi.”

Florida resident Chris Sevier is currently battling it out in court to win the right to marry his laptop.

According to Sky News, Sevier filed a 50-page motion to the US Circuit Court of Appeal after the state of Utah denied him the right to marry his Apple MacBook.

The motion is a sort of legal protest against a law that is currently being considered in Florida – right of recognition for same-sex marriages performed in other states.

Sevier has argued that if gay couples are allowed to marry, he should be allowed to marry his “porn-filled” laptop (AKA “machine spouse”).

In the motion, Sevier wrote:

They discriminated against me when they rejected my request to marry my computer. I approached the Utah clerk to have a marriage license issued for me and my machine spouse. The clerk denied my request for a marriage licence … my object of affection was outside the scope of the narrow definition.

shutterstock_174114314 What it would look like if your computer could love you back. Probably. Source: Shutterstock

He said that people who “desire to marry inanimate objects and animals” are the “true minorities” in the eyes of US law.

If anything, my marriage to a machine possesses less of a risk, since a possible acrimonious divorce proceeding could be avoided if the marriage fails.

A similar challenge from Sevier was thrown out in Florida last year, with a judge saying the motion was “removed from reality”.

Sevier has a history of odd lawsuits – he attempted to claim damages from Apple for failing to add a “safe mode” to his laptop, which he claims lead to his porn addiction.

Clearly they should just let him marry the computer. No one else would want him.

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