AS A CHILD, there was very little more exciting than hearing the chimes of the ice cream man’s van as he drove into your estate.
We all had our favourites, and 99s are obviously amazing – but when you were a kid seeking more bang for your hard-earned buck, the screwball was your best choice.
It was all the fun of a 99, with added bubblegum
Sure, you lost the cone, but you gained so much more.
And a load of sauce
That was the beauty of the screwball. The plastic cone allowed for maximum raspberry, lime, blueberry – any colour goo you wanted.
If you weren’t allowed gum, it was a very sneaky way to get yourself some
Breaking the rules just added to the allure of the screwball.
The flavour was gone in two seconds, but you savoured every moment
And you still chewed it for a half an hour at the very least.
The worst thing that could ever happen to you was the ice cream man forgetting the bubble gum
Is this some kind of SICK JOKE?!
But you’ll always remember the time he accidentally gave you two
Ice cream man, you angel.
We’ll never forget you, delicious screwballs
In fact, it’s high time we got reacquainted.
