SHAVING IS A cruel but hilarious joke, of which men are the victims.*
Here are all the reasons why. Pity us poor men.
*Yes, most women shave bits of themselves too. But it’s just not as ridiculous, is it? Is it?
1. Shaving takes crucial morning time, when you could be in bed.
2. It is also a strangely pointless activity
3. But if you let it slide, you look like a fourteen-year-old boy with an attitude problem.
4. It gives you weird rash pimples, even after you stop getting pimples.
5. Oh, you already have spots for some reason? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
6. Also, how many other grooming tasks force you to make this face?
7. In all honesty, the front of your head PLAINLY wasn’t designed for shaving.
8. You will literally slash your own face.
9. Shaving foam is a ridiculous substance
10. The only way around it is to grow a beard. This is how you imagine it will be.
11. This is how it will actually be.
12. And this is what it’ll feel like when you cave in and take it off.
13. Now go and shave.
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