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Dublin: 4 °C Thursday 27 February, 2020
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Why being a short person is the worst ever

I wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was a baller, wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.

YOU MIGHT BE a small person, but you’ve got big problems.

The average height for a woman in Ireland is 5’4.5″, with the average height for a man clocking in at 5’10″.

If you’re below those heights, that makes you officially smaller than average – and if you are, these things just might be the bane of your life.

1. Not being able to see anything. Ever

At gigs and events, you don’t even have to be stuck behind a tall person to not be able to see. It could be anyone. Your view is guaranteed to be blocked unless you’re right at the front, because almost everyone is taller than you.

Image: via 9 Gag

This leaves you pogoing up and down to grab a glimpse.

2. Being accused of having a Napoleon complex

If you have a temper and you are smaller than average, be prepared for a lifetime of being told you have “short man/woman syndrome” – ie, that you over-compensate for your short stature with a need for power and dominance.

Image: via Zimbio

WELL, THEY CAN FECK RIGHT OFF IF THEY THINK WE HAVE SHORT PERSON SYNDROME. WHO’S WITH ME?!

3. Looking ridiculous in photos with tall people

Out on a night out with your taller pals? Prepare for the tagged photos on Facebook – cos boy are they gonna suck.

Image: via Karma Decay

4. Being told you’re short

Oh, really? I’m small? Thank you for informing me. It had genuinely escaped my attention for my entire life that I am smaller than others. No, really. Thanks.

Image: via GifBase

5. Forever rolling up your trousers

Clothes are hard to find as a small person. Trousers will inevitably sag and get rolled up, and you can look like a swamped child in an ill-fitting suit.

Image: via Shutterstock

And people will shriek and hoot with disbelief when you tell them about your small feet, so it’s best to keep your tiny feet shame to yourself.

6. Extremely difficult to kiss a tall person

Kissing or going out with a taller person is like an interesting physical obstacle course, with just as much potential embarrassment.

Sometimes it’s easier to just sit down to alleviate the potential dancefloor issues involved in navigating getting up there.

Image: via Dating Fails

7. Can’t reach things

Either get used to asking “Sorry, could you grab that for me?” or else invest in a kitchen step – because let’s face it: you are never getting up to those shelves.

Image: via Daily Dawdle

8. Being used as an armrest

We’re not down there for your gratification, you know.

Er, that came out wrong.

Image: via Growth Max

We’re still waiting for that ever-promised growth spurt.

Read: Woman divorces man because of his small penis>

Read: 13 pieces of delicious celebrity-inspired food art>

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About the author:

Fiona Hyde

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