Dublin: 10 °C Monday 27 May, 2024
sex geek

Here's the fitbit for penises that nobody asked for

A must-have for data junkies.

THIS IS WHAT happens when we take technology too far. People get hurt, people get overwhelmed, people put fitbits on their penises.

Lovely is the most ungoogleable product name going, and it’s also a new IndieGoGo project which promises to make your sexy time smarter.

The silicone ring attaches to the base of the penis, and can track things such as speed, calories burned, and even g-forces on the pelvis.

ofps9mfts0lsyw8eerv1 Lovely Lovely

It connects up to your smartphone and provides all the relevant stats, like you’d just ran a damn marathon or something. You can read how much calories you’ve burned in context to a jog, the duration of the session, your speed, how many moves you made, as well as view a complete history of all your previous conquests.

mlm5w8wvfpeanmvfnclr Lovely Lovely

It also boasts features such as the ability to vibrate, sense the sexual positions you were using, if things were going well, and explains what you should do next time.

rpvhiqglqujsowcfv0px Lovely Lovely

Their funding is currently at €9,331, and if they reach their €85480 target, Lovely will be on the market for €152.

A small price to pay for a ‘sex report’, we’d imagine.

Boy breaks his arm, marvels at his new cast while hopped up on pain meds>

This man was forced to call 911 after a 4-hour standoff with an angry cat>

Your Voice
Readers Comments
    Submit a report
    Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
    Thank you for the feedback
    Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.