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Dublin: 6 °C Tuesday 7 February, 2023
18 things that would happen if The Simpsons was set in Dublin
“Why ya little…”

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1. Homer would work for ESB because nuclear power just isn’t a thing here

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2. Instead of “eat my shorts”, Bart would mostly say “ask me bollix”

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3. Back in the day, Marge would lead a city-wide protest against The Den because Dustin and Socky were just too violent

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She formed Dubliners for Nonviolence, Understanding, and Helping (DNUH) to address this scurrilous issue.

4. For a brief period, the Simpsons would move to Galway and Homer would work for a maverick entrepreneur

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5. And Bart would be dropped back to Junior Infants because he doesn’t know what a fada is

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6. Lisa would get ridiculously cool for one summer when the family went to Tramore on holiday for a few weeks

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7. Troy McClure would turn up to every single premiere at the Savoy out of desperation and be banned from the aquarium in Bray

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8. Apu would own a fairly successful 24-hour Centra in Ballyfermot

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9. Homer would be the mascot for the Dublin GAA team – but he’d lose the crowd because of a questionable performance with Jedward at Croke Park

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10. Moe’s new restaurant would be shut down because it too closely resembled Eddie Rocket’s

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11.Kirk Van Houten’s single would be called “Spare A Feeling, Buddy?”

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12. Bart and his friends would strike up a rivalry with a group of lads from Navan, eventually going there to spray paint “Meath sucks” on a big wall

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13. The whole idea for the LUAS would come from one visiting genius – who put Limerick, Donegal, and West Cork on the map

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14. Homer would enter The National Ploughing Championships and call himself Mr Plow

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15. Kent Brockman would front RTÉ’s Six One News and send the nation into a panic at every opportunity

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16. Mr Burns’ son would be selling trinkets just outside Athy train station when he spots his auld lad passing

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17. Lisa and Bart would face off against each other in a bitter local GAA match that would divide the family

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18. And finally… Santa’s Little Helper would be a gift to the family after he continuously lost races at Shelbourne Park

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Bless his bleedin’ heart.

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