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kiss miss

The 12 bad kissers we've all experienced

Look, it’s not all candlelight and romance you know.

YOU CAN’T DENY that a bit of kissing is great craic.

It can be very romantic, feel lovely and even signal the start of a new relationship.

When it goes well kissing can be a bit like this:

Via Celebuzz

But if it goes badly it can be more like this:

GifMovie / Tumblr

Sadly, life is not like the movies and we’ve had a think about some of the worst kinds of kissers you could encounter.

We’d tell you to pucker up but this lot will probably put you off kissing for life.

1. The person who hasn’t a clue what to do with their tongue

Either they’ve decided to poke it back and forth or they’re darting it around your gob like an escaped snake.

Whatever they end up doing this is the person who is failing at the French kiss.

RealityTVGifs / Tumblr

2. The person with bad breath

Image via Shutterstock

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

When you snog someone with bad breath it is truly tragic.

It doesn't matter how good looking they are if someone has bad breath it will be a bad kiss.

This is the person who needs to pop a few breathmints before they go dropping their mouth over yours.


3. The person who doesn't know what to do with their hands

Image via Shutterstock

You don't technically kiss with your hands but knowing what to do with them is very important.

This person is the one who either gropes you within an inch of your life mid-kiss or just leaves their hands at the side as if they are afraid to touch you.

Finding a middle ground is preferred if we're being honest.

4. The sudden kisser

This is the one who thinks they can just throw a kiss at you at a moment's notice.

A little bit of a warning is nice.

It looks like Shakira is having that problem here:

Alan Diaz/AP/Press Association Images

5. The one who tastes like a bag of crisps

Image via Shutterstock

Or a bucket of KFC, or sixteen bottles of beer or whatever.

These are the kissers who forgot to chew gum every now and then and inflict their own food tasting breath on you.

This is the person who you find yourself kissing and thinking "I am better off going home and burying my own tongue into the centre of Tayto Cheese and Onion bag?"

The answer would be : Yes.

6. The practiser

This is the person you'll see practising on their hand to perfect their technique.

Or if they're a famous person then any awards they win and / or their co-workers.

For example:

Matt Sayles/AP/Press Association Images

Damian Dovarganes/AP/Press Association Images

7.  The slurper

Funny Britney / Tumblr

That would be the person who makes it sound like they're taking a lump out a lollipop while kissing you.

It is as vile as it sounds.

8. The groaner

A bit like the slurper but with added groaning.

This is the person who think it is good to make loads and loads of noise while you kiss.

But it's not so we try to avoid them.

9. The head holder

We understand that grabbing the back of someone's head can be very romantic but sometimes you can grab a bit too much.

The head holder is the one you have to watch out for so that they aren't holding for dear life, as seems to be happening here:

Dave Thompson/PA Archive/Press Association Images

10. The person who is a bit stiff

This is the person who you probably really like but won't loosen up enough for you to give them the kiss of their life.

And so this happens:

What Should Theatre Call Me / Tumblr

11. The tooth terror

Image via Shutterstock

This is that person who is giving you all teeth throughout a kiss.

It can be kind of painful as you feel your mouth get an awful hard time from the other person's pearly whites.

Stop kissing us with your teeth. Please.

12. The biter

Tigre86 / LiveJournal

This is the person who thinks they are auditioning for a True Blood spin-off and go to town on your lips and your neck.

The whole point of kissing is to enjoy it, not to have someone tear strips off of your flesh.


Feel free to share your kissing horror stories below.

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