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What in tarnation

25 things Irish people just do not understand about America

Contains the world’s most painfully embarrassing promprosal.

1. How can you eat so much sugar in the mornings?

If it isn’t cereal that would be more appropriate as a dessert, then it’s rashers covered in maple syrup or porridge with butter in it.

2. What’s wrong with a good old letterbox on your front door?

Why aren’t you scared your neighbours are going to steal your post?

3. Why do you need a drive thru for everything?

A drive thru for coffee is a bit much. It’s not that hard to park your car and run into a shop to get a drink. They even have drive through off licences.

PolishPossy / YouTube

4. Why do you always threaten to call your lawyer the minute a very minor incident happens

lawyer teofilo / Flickr teofilo / Flickr / Flickr

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer” is something practically no Irish person would ever say.

5. Why do American teenagers look so old?

made MTV MTV

Made, the show on MTV, was always set in American high schools. The students were all sixteen, but almost always looked as if they would pass as twenty five years old.

6. Why can’t you just have proper public toilets?

William Kern / YouTube

The gap between the door and the floor always looks like it’s about 2 feet tall and they insist on having huge gaps between the door and the frame. Why even bother with the door?

7. Pharmaceutical TV ads

hockey14822 / YouTube

How do they sit there watching the TV list off every terrible side effect possible and not get uncomfortable?

8. Americans can’t possibly enjoy their chocolate that much

Since they bought Cadbury’s our chocolate seems to stray a little bit further from the light each day too.

9. Everything about Thanksgiving is ridiculous 

This is an actual holiday to celebrate killing natives. Why do you need so much food? Why do you go so over the top with Thanksgiving sales the next week?

10. What’s wrong with using a bin?

 11. Is it really necessary to clap at the end of a film? Who are you clapping to?

 12. Why does it seem like a lot of Americans truly take pride in destroying the environment?

PastedImage-5171 Prayitno / Flickr Prayitno / Flickr / Flickr

Do you really need such big cars? What would they say if they saw a 1999 Nissan Micra?

13.  How do you take yourselves seriously giving your children such weird names?

PastedImage-69715 Nameberry Nameberry

The fact that there is a man in the world called Channing Tatum is enough evidence.

14. Promprosals

Jonathan Estrada / YouTube

Scarlet is the only word for this.

15. Going to prom sober

How do they cope with all of that dancing and cringey stuff when they are stone cold sober?

16. America’s obsession with wearing shoes like this

nb MRTinDC / Flickr MRTinDC / Flickr / Flickr

17. And flip flops with cargo shorts

flip flops Wouter Van Erve / Flickr Wouter Van Erve / Flickr / Flickr

But even more frustratingly, flip flops with jeans.

flipflopjeans robertstinnett / Flickr robertstinnett / Flickr / Flickr

 18. Why you insist on using a cup as a measurement

cup Gerrilynn Nunley / Flickr Gerrilynn Nunley / Flickr / Flickr

Do you realise that cups vary greatly in size?

19. The obsession with UFOs

UFOS maxime raynal / Flickr maxime raynal / Flickr / Flickr

 20. The fact that too many Americans seem to be willing to do ridiculous dares and eat very dangerous things

The ShoeNice / YouTube

 21. Red cups at parties

I know there was a stage in 2011 where these became pretty popular in Ireland, but they were too expensive to ever become sustainable. Realistically the only reason American’s can afford to drink from red cups is because they wait until they’re old enough to get a mortgage to start drinking.

22. How they feel comfortable with people open carrying guns

open carry Lars Plougmann / Flickr Lars Plougmann / Flickr / Flickr

How is this legal?

23. Why do so many Americans marry when they’re really young?

young FromSandToGlass / Flickr FromSandToGlass / Flickr / Flickr

24. The state of rashers in America


 25. What the hell is meat loaf?


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