THE GIRLS’ NIGHT out is a sacred ritual that is beneficial to both the mind and body.
The following things can and will occur each ladies’ night, without fail.
Before predrinks, there will be a discussion about what everyone is wearing
Everyone will agree they have “f**k all” to wear, except the one that got herself a new outfit specially (HMPH).
There will always be a panic over mixers
And that’s because there are NEVER enough mixers. Ever.
Predrinks chat will revolve around one person, usually not present
This will be returned to several times that evening. “But can you believe that?”
There will be at least one loud rendition of a popular song
https://vine.co/v/M5l7d613qgm
In your heads, you are all Beyoncé. To the neighbours, there’s a very high possibility that a whole bunch of cats are being strangled next door.
A group photo will be taken
If the group photo is forgotten, someone will exasperatedly cry, “AH LADS, WE FORGOT TO TAKE A PHOTO!” just after you leave the house.
One gal will accept the challenge of sitting in the front seat of the taxi and charming the driver (AKA Mr Taxi Man)
“Ahhh… WILLIAM. That’s your name. How are you doing, WILLIAM?”
And another will be told to “act sober” for the club doorman
Always the one gal that has to be coached, every time.
First stop is always the bar, where each girl will imbibe a sticky, neon-coloured shot
Hey, you can’t blame us. It was two for €6!
Then it’s straight to the dancefloor for the night
https://vine.co/v/hM5UlmrhH6g
One could be dancing solidly for about three hours on a girls’ night out. Sure it’s practically like going to the gym.
Someone will give out to a lad hovering creepily by your group
Just hovering. Not really dancing, not saying anything, but occasionally trying to touch people inappropriately.
Someone will “get lost”
And come back with lipstick and a sheepish expression all over her face.
Bathroom selfies will be taken
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And in a drunken haze, one may be put up on Facebook (to be swiftly deleted the next morning).
At a suitable hour, it will be decided that the club is unbearable and everyone NEEDS chips
Alternatively, one member of the group will petulantly cry “Chips! CHIPS!” until everyone listens to her.
Someone will eat something they probably won’t want to be reminded of the next day
“You had a curry cheese chip and a spice burger and a battered sausage.”
“Stop. STOP.”
The next morning, the all-important Whatsapp/Facebook debrief will take place
And absolutely no one will be safe.
