UNLESS YOU’RE FORTUNATE enough to work for yourself, chances are, you’ll have suffered at the hands of one of this lot.
1. The one with no sense of time
They’re a workaholic think everyone around them is too. Sure, we’ll stay three hours late, but we’re STILL given ‘looks’ if we’re five minutes late.
2. The overly dedicated
This boss puts everything into their job and are constantly taking one for the team. They probably worked on Christmas Day, in a blizzard, with a broken arm, two days after giving birth. Of course, they hold the same standards for you. Home early? NO.
3. The mirage
The ‘phantom’ boss always gives the impression they’re there, and they are… in physical presence. They’re not truly there though, but always on the move, always pawning you off for ‘two minutes’. When you do eventually get a meeting during their five minute break at three, they won’t show up. Ever.
4. The scrutinising inspector
Constantly peep over your shoulder, commenting on everything you do.
But you’re not FINISHED YET.
5. The praiser
A rare breed, consistently tell you that you’re doing a great job, great effort, the team is ‘amazing’, inspirational, so talented. Listen, we all know we’re not that good, and we’re still not inviting you for after-work drinks.
6. The wannabe inspirational speaker
Abuses buzzwords, genuinely thinks they’re changing the world, gravity shifts a little under the constant eyerolls.
7. The genuinely sound one
They don’t try too hard to be your ‘friend’ but know when to cut you some slack. They’re just SOUND.
If you find a boss like this, cling on. Never let them go.
8. The inferiority complex
Characterised by their constant uncertainty and inability to make the simplest of decisions. Climbed up the ladder due to HR incompetence and a gormless ability to schmooze.
Don’t do what they ask, do what they’re thinking.
They’ll also be as patronising as possible to assert their superiority.
9. The fossil
If they had their way you’d be typing on a typewriter. They probably use bing, saw ‘www dot’ aloud when guiding you to URLs, and ask you to do things like print hard copies of their emails to keep on file. You must comply, of course. They won’t be moved on these issues.
10. The stresser
The situation is completely under control, but they’re running around like their last seconds on earth are fast running out on a huge countdown screen.
RELAX.
