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hardworking class heroes

The 10 unsung heroes of every night out

Step up! It’s time to get your due.

EVERYONE LOVES THE craic dealers and the banter merchants, but the people that make nights out truly great are quietly working behind the scenes.

These people are actually doing the hard graft – and it’s time to give them some credit.

The Rallier of the Troops


Everyone is on the fence about going out, and prospects are looking very dim until… The Rallier of the Troops texts a list of the people they’ve managed to round up for pre-drinks.

How do they do it? No one knows. But we’re not about to question it.

The Speaker Producers

Someone’s playing Avicii off tinny iPhone speakers. You’re about to declare a party emergency when in sweeps this person with decent speakers AND a decent Spotify playlist.

Marry us.

The Taxi Organisers

taxihere Flickr / diversey Flickr / diversey / diversey

These people are bravely out there on the Hailo front lines, negotiating with drivers and trying to whip people into shape while stopping just short of the bouncer-like, “C’mon FOLKS! Let’s go FOLKS.”

If we didn’t have these guys, we wouldn’t even get out. Hats off.

The Lovely Toilet Girls

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Your fringe is doing a thing and your chin is so shiny it could be used as a mirror, but disaster! You’ve forgotten everything. It’s OK – The Lovely Toilet Girls are here to sympathise and offer you their last hair clip. Love u, gals.

The Drink Savers

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The Drink Savers must have some sort of sixth sense, for they can seemingly predict the exact moment a drunken lout is going to come barrelling into you and act quickly to bring both you and your pint to safety.

The Wingman/Wingwoman

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They do so much work, and get so little credit. Who else would make idle chat with someone’s boring friend while you work your magic, other than a true hero?

The Enthusiastic Dancers

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These people are always up for a bop, don’t care about looking stupid, and have a strange ability to make all your fears about dancing melt away. Essential to your arsenal.

The Extractors

You’ve been accosted by a tipsy stranger. You’re looking around, but you can’t see anyone to run to. Then, just when you think you’re going to have to make conversation, The Extractor appears at your shoulder and gently but firmly guides you away.

Extractors, you’re doing the Lord’s work, and we appreciate it.

The Couch Providers

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You were MEANT to get the last Nitelink home, but… Ah, it happens.

Luckily, this person always has a place for you to kip and a spare duvet for you to steal. What would you do without them?

The Cleaners

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All of the above people are lifesavers, sure, but no one does a mankier job than the Cleaners, who are only too happy to pick up cigarette-ashy cans and mop sticky spills with you after everyone else has gone home. We salute you.

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