Dublin: 5 °C Tuesday 6 December, 2022

'Vagina contouring' is the latest (and scariest-sounding) fanny beauty trend

Stop. The. World.

NOT LONG AGO, Kim Kardashian brought the concept of ‘contouring’, or reshaping your face through the clever application of makeup, to the world’s attention.

Now, the process is moving further south.

p8oBD Source: Imgur

Yes, vagina contouring. Or vontouring, for short.

(We can think of a better name for it that isn’t quite so safe for work but… Oh, we’ll tell you anyway. It’s ‘c**touring’.)

Vontouring is the nickname for Protégé Intima, a new non-surgical method of ‘remodelling’ your downstairs using radio frequencies.

protegeintima Source: Essex Private Doctors

According to Mashable, the procedure uses a thermal device to “stimulate collagen production in the vagina’s opening” which plumps and tightens everything up.

It feels like “putting in a tampon”, says cosmetic surgeon and pioneer of the procedure, Dr Sharon Giese.

giphy Source: Giphy

The Daily Mail reports that one session of vagina contouring costs over $300 – but compared to paying $5000 for a labiaplasty, it’s pretty good value.

BRB, we’re off to pray for the souls of humankind.

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