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A rundown of 19 of the weirdest celebrity news stories that have ever been published

From Courtney Love claiming she found Mayalsian Airlines flight MH370 to Paris Hilton being targeted by ISIS.

1. Someone broke into Joss Stone’s home and attempted to kill her with a sword

Source: emimusic/YouTube

It’s actually really difficult to try and come up with a celebrity more inoffensive and harmless than Joss Stone. What has she ever done that would prompt someone to enter her house and attempt to kill her in such an elaborate and aggressive manner?

“Someone tried to kill Joss Stone with a sword” are just words nobody ever expected to hear. Hopefully she’s keeping well after the horrible attack in 2011.

2. Ariana Grande publicly licks donuts and says “I hate America”

One day in 2015, Ariana Grande engaged in the completely bizarre act of licking a donut in a shop in front of other customers.

Source: TMZ/YouTube

Better yet, a second video caught her reaction to a tray of over the top donuts that made her exclaim “What the f**k is that? I hate America” which had her attacked by many viewers for being unpatriotic.

Source: TMZ/YouTube

3. Lindsay Lohan’s mother called the police after being declined a free ice cream cake from ice cream chain “Carvel”

Here’s the deal: Lindsay Lohan is one of the few people in the world who have been given a card entitling them to free ice cream for 75 years from Carvel. Her mam, Dina Lohan, went in and tried to use it to get a free ice cream cake. Carvel claimed that the family had been abusing the free ice cream card and refused to give Dina the ice cream cake for free.

TNG Holiday Launch Celebration This looks like the exact type of person who screams at retail workers Source: DPA/PA Images

Dina, a millionaire with lots of money to pay for ice cream, could not comprehend the fact that she was being told no called the police and launched into a spiel about how this proved that “[rich people] get treated so much worse than regular people”.

I’m not even going to get started on the infinite number of ways in which that statement is completely untrue.

4. Hulk Hogan’s daughter claimed to be a victim of racism

Hulk Hogan once went into an awfully explicit racist and homophobic rant on tape. His daughter, in an attempt to defend him for using racist slurs said that she has experienced racism.

How? Well by being told that “white people smell like bologna”.

Brooke Hogan and Hulk Hogan - MTV Video Music Awards Source: PA Archive/PA Images

As complex put it nicely, “no word yet on whether the bologna comment has impacted Brooke Hogan’s life as much as institutional racism in the criminal justice, housing, health, and education systems have impacted those of millions of African Americans.”

5. Matthew McConnaughey’s mother insisted on making the paramedics see her dead husband naked so they could witness how well endowed he was

Apologies for what is probably one of the worst sentences you will ever read, but it’s true. In her book, Kay McConnaughey talks about how her husband died while they were having sex. “It was just the best way to go!”

When he couldn’t be revived, she made sure they didn’t cover him when they had to removed him from the house. “I was just so proud of my big old Jim McConnaughey – and his gift”.

41uUX+wDjbL._SX323_BO1,204,203,200_ Source: Amazon

 

Kay McConnaughey also said that conceiving Matthew was an accident, after her third time marrying Jim she asked herself “Do I want to have another baby? Do I want  to have an affair? Or go back to school? That’s when Matthew was conceived.” What an odd woman.

6. Adam Sandler was attacked by a cheetah

While on safari, he was offered the opportunity to feed the cheetah water from his hands and it pounced on him. Just imagine if this had been fatal. Imagine waking up some day to the news “Adam Sandler mauled to death by cheetah”.

adam sandler cheetah

7. Who can forget that time that Justin Bieber said that he hopes Anne Frank would’ve been a belieber if she hadn’t, y’know, died in a concentration camp

“Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber”.

Justin Bieber Madame Tussauds Photocall - London Source: Marechal Aurore/ABACA

8. Ke$ha claims to have had sex with a ghost

Kesha In Palm Springs Source: Dane Andrew

Now I’m not going to say this is normal, but it happened to Bobby Brown too.

9. Bette Midler names chicken after Kim Kardashian and it later dies from a yeast infection

Bette Midler Speaks At Barack Obama Rally - Las Vegas Source: EMPICS Entertainment

10. Paris Hilton fears she is a target of ISIS

The multimillionaire socialite and DJ said she feels the need to “watch her back” as a famous person who travels a lot.

Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival 2017 Source: Dane Andrew

12. Lindsay Lohan suddenly developed a new weird accent

While speaking about refugees, for no apparent reason, she acts as if English is not her first language and hesitates while waiting for certain words to come to mind. This was one of the oddest things she has ever done.

Weirder than when she wanted to vote for Mitt Romney.

13. That time Ashley Simpson was caught lipsyncing on SNL

Source: Christina haynes/YouTube

Ashley Simpson has disappeared from the public eye, but all these years later this is still really funny. Until it gets awkward. Then it gets really awkward. It’s hard to decide whether the fact she tried to brush it off with a “hoedown” was worse than when she blamed the mistake on her band.

14. Courtney Love claims to have found missing Malaysian Airlines flight MH370

In a bizarre Facebook post she shared her theory:

courtney love Source: Courtney Love/Facebook

I’m no expert but up close this does look like a plane and an oil slick.http://www.tomnod.com/…/chall…/malaysiaairsar2014/map/128148 … prayers go out to the families #MH370 and its like a mile away Pulau Perak, where they “last” tracked it 5°39’08.5″N 98°50’38.0″E but what do I know?

Thank you Courtney for your contribution to the search.

15. Rapper B.o.B sincerely believes that the world is flat

Here is the photographic evidence to back up his theory:

One tweeter pointed out that the earth’s curvature would definitely not be visible from that distance.

16. Tony Bennett first met his wife when he was 40 years old and she was still in the womb

It’s terrifying that the angle this story is being presented from is supposed to make it seem cute. The singer, born in 1926, was 40 when he met a couple in New York City in 1966. Bennett got a photo with this pregnant woman and her partner and little did they know, the 40-year-old singer would some day marry their unborn child, Susan Benedetto.

Tony Bennett's 85th Birthday Celebration - New York Source: EMPICS Entertainment

Bennett first met Susan in person when she was 19 after bringing her back stage after a show. He asked her on a date that same evening. Which part is supposed to be cute? This is really spooky.

17. Gwyneth Paltrow steams her vagina

Iron Man 3 - Presentation of film with Gwyneth Paltrow Source: DPA/PA Images

Yes, one of her favourite ways to pamper herself is with a Mugwort V-Steam. It’s a spa treatment Paltrow described as a “mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release – not just a steam douche – that balances female hormone levels”.

18. Ed Sheeran was stabbed in the face with a sword

Singles charts Source: PA Wire/PA Images

Fortunately Ed’s assailant’s intentions were not as dark as Joss Stone’s. He was accidentally cut with the sword by Princess Beatrice at the Royal Lodge in Windsor during a mock Knighting. He was brought to hospital and had stitches but he was apparently very forgiving.

19. Angelina Jolie dropped out of school at age 14 to become a funeral director

Angelina Jolie promotes campaign for refugees in Ecuador Source: DPA/PA Images

She obtained a certificate in the subject through a mail order degree. At least she has something to fall back on.

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About the author:

Kelly Earley

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