This site uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide services and advertising. By continuing to browse, you agree to the use of cookies described in our Cookies Policy. You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site. To learn more see our Cookies Policy.
OK
Dublin: 7 °C Saturday 15 December, 2018
Advertisement

What Does Your Email Signoff Say About You?

Warmest regards, xoxox.

Source: Wikimedia Commons

HOW TO SIGN off your emails? It’s a tricky decision, which requires careful consideration and judgement to attain *exactly* the right balance of professionalism and passive aggression.

For your assistance, we’ve compiled this handy guide to what YOUR email signature is saying about YOU:

All the best: I’m deeply uncomfortable writing work emails, hence my forced cheeriness.

Best for now: You’re deeply uncomfortable, because I’m being threatening for no reason.

Best: I’m too busy and important to be uncomfortable, ever. KEYSTROKES ARE MONEY.

No signoff, just a name: I saw you digging into my butter out of the office fridge, you shameless gobsheen.

Source: Sage Ross

Regards: Look, I haven’t got time to pretend I’m enjoying this.

Kind regards: As above, but with a large invoice attached.

Best regards: As above, but I’m really trying to sugar-coat it.

Warmest regards: As above, and also: you’re fired.

Kindest regards: F*** you.

Source: Wikimedia Commons

God bless: This is the first email I’ve ever sent / I am your mother / all of the above.

Cheers: I am still cool even though I work in an office. Please believe me. My sensible shoes are not the whole story.

Warmly: If we met in person, my handshake would be soft and slightly damp.

Best wishes: On some level, I pity you.

With every good wish: I literally could not care whether you lived or died.

Source: Plutor

Yours in [insert industry]: Just reminding you what I actually do, because you’ll need convincing to accept the enormous bill I’ve attached.

Slán: I’m very proud of my one word of Irish.

x: Either this was an incredibly embarrassing mistake, or I work in PR.

xoxoxox: I am the kind of person who leaves meaningless Post-It messages in the middle of your computer screen / we are having an affair / both.

Thanks: Die. 

More: Look around your office… can you identify these 9 people?>

Warmest, kindest regards to everyone who helped out on Twitter, including @aoiph, @adamprincebilly, @BlueCorpse, @_chrisjones_@Donal_OKeeffe, @jarsofshine, @jeannedesutun, @joecarlyle@sineadkeogh and @warrenswords. XOXOXOX.

  • Share on Facebook
  • Email this article
  •  

About the author:

Michael Freeman

Read next:

COMMENTS (39)