HOW TO SIGN off your emails? It’s a tricky decision, which requires careful consideration and judgement to attain *exactly* the right balance of professionalism and passive aggression.
For your assistance, we’ve compiled this handy guide to what YOUR email signature is saying about YOU:
All the best: I’m deeply uncomfortable writing work emails, hence my forced cheeriness.
Best for now: You’re deeply uncomfortable, because I’m being threatening for no reason.
Best: I’m too busy and important to be uncomfortable, ever. KEYSTROKES ARE MONEY.
No signoff, just a name: I saw you digging into my butter out of the office fridge, you shameless gobsheen.
Regards: Look, I haven’t got time to pretend I’m enjoying this.
Kind regards: As above, but with a large invoice attached.
Best regards: As above, but I’m really trying to sugar-coat it.
Warmest regards: As above, and also: you’re fired.
Kindest regards: F*** you.
God bless: This is the first email I’ve ever sent / I am your mother / all of the above.
Cheers: I am still cool even though I work in an office. Please believe me. My sensible shoes are not the whole story.
Warmly: If we met in person, my handshake would be soft and slightly damp.
Best wishes: On some level, I pity you.
With every good wish: I literally could not care whether you lived or died.
Yours in [insert industry]: Just reminding you what I actually do, because you’ll need convincing to accept the enormous bill I’ve attached.
Slán: I’m very proud of my one word of Irish.
x: Either this was an incredibly embarrassing mistake, or I work in PR.
xoxoxox: I am the kind of person who leaves meaningless Post-It messages in the middle of your computer screen / we are having an affair / both.
Thanks: Die.
More: Look around your office… can you identify these 9 people?>
Warmest, kindest regards to everyone who helped out on Twitter, including @aoiph, @adamprincebilly, @BlueCorpse, @_chrisjones_, @Donal_OKeeffe, @jarsofshine, @jeannedesutun, @joecarlyle, @sineadkeogh and @warrenswords. XOXOXOX.
