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What Your Pizza Order Actually Says About You

We cannot and will not accept any responsibility for this article making you hungry.

DIDN’T THINK YOUR choice of pizza spoke anything of your personality? You were wrong.

A recent study by Dr Alan Hirsch found that your favourite pizza can actually say a lot about you – pepperoni lovers are extroverts, while veggie pizza fans are charming, and so on.

We’re not so sure about the findings, so we’re presenting our own, discovered after months* of extensive research into pizza. (*Hours)

Now we can reveal, definitively, what your pizza order actually says about you.


6866599586_af3b545b68_z Flickr / wwny Flickr / wwny / wwny

Unassuming, no bells and whistles, basic flavour – the margherita epitomises the safe bet.

Adventure? You’d rather stay at home in front of the fire with a book, to be honest.


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You appreciate tradition, but with a little spicy twist. No one could ever accuse you of being a wallflower.


3296892344_44e69e317f_b Flickr / TESFox Flickr / TESFox / TESFox

Not everyone’s first choice of pizza topping, but then again, you defy convention in many ways.

Some say chicken has no place on a pizza. You just laugh.

Meat Feast

MeatLovers Sun Sentinel Sun Sentinel

Woah. Intense. A Meat Feast pizza is not for the weak, but no one could ever call you weak.

You probably admire and respect Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson.

Jalapeno peppers

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Aren’t you a mad yoke! You’ll try anything once, and at this stage jalapeno peppers on pizza seems like a pretty regular choice for you.


8696838484_6fcd348ab3_h Flickr / xtauymatiao Flickr / xtauymatiao / xtauymatiao

So you’re a veggie – that isn’t going to stop you enjoying the world’s favourite comfort dish.

Though some people who believe pizza is essentially a bread plate to hold cheese and meat might disagree. Just saying.

Gluten-free pizza base

wheat-free-guide Wheat Free Recipes Wheat Free Recipes

If you’re allergic to gluten, we’re sorry. :( :( :(

If you’re not, why are you torturing yourself? Love yourself. Treat yo’self. You are special.


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Oh – we have a maverick over here.

People might scoff at you, but you always stick to your guns. That has to be admired.

BBQ sauce

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Swapping out the tomato sauce for BBQ, are you? That takes guts, but in group situations you know you’ll almost always get a pizza to yourself. You shnake.


5644343611_e508e98cf5_b Flickr / jumble Flickr / jumble / jumble

Woah woah woah. Just stop for a second. Think. Do you want to be seen as weird and smelly? Because that’s what people will think if you order tiny fish on your pizza.

Weird and smelly.

This is the most specific pizza order you will ever see>

9 dogs who just really want one tiny slice of your pizza, okay?>

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