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Dublin: 6 °C Saturday 15 December, 2018

The 9 people you are guaranteed to find in every single workplace

There’s no escaping the food-stealer

No matter which industry you work in, how often you change career paths or how regularly you hop jobs, you will undoubtedly encounter the same type of people over and over again.

The TV show, which so accurately illustrates the politics at play in the workspace may have been called The Office, but the dynamic applies just as perfectly to the shop floor as it does the lumber yard.

Whether it was your part-time job in college, your first after graduating, or the one you’ve had for the guts of ten years, you will have definitely met the following people.


1. The slacker.

They do the bare minimum, but always manage to get away with it.

You can recognise them by their tendency to slope through the office, coffee in hand, asking people if they’re working hard or hardly working… weh, weh, weh.

2. The over-worker.

This person seemingly has no home to go to, and indirectly makes the rest of you look bad. The workload will still be there in the morning, so why are they forever tying themselves in knots?

You can recognise them by the panicked looked in their eyes and their inability to leave their desk for longer than five minutes.

3. The egomaniac.

There’s at least one in every office, and God love them, they’ve convinced themselves they’re keeping the entire show on the road.

You can recognise them by their hurried walk, loud phone calls and inability to talk about anything but themselves and their past triumphs.

big deal

4. The charmer.

This person has the entire office wrapped, and for some reason, you don’t actually care.

You can recognise them by their ability to consistently provide light relief, and so what if they do sweet eff-all, work would be a duller place without them.

thank yu

5. The food-stealer.

If you’re lucky, there may only be one in your workplace, but not all of us are that fortunate.

You can recognise them by the fact they’re always eating your effing food.

6. The chatterer.

Christ, this person can talk. In fact, you’ve spent hours of your working day marvelling at their uncanny ability to comment on every effing thing they see or hear.

You can recognise them by your overwhelming desire to strangle them in full view of your colleagues every time they open their mouth.

the office us

7. The sifter.

Oh, this person LIVES for the scandal. And they will sift you within an inch of your life if they think they can shake you down for some.

Conversations with them are an absolute minefield as you desperately attempt to side-step every sideways question and less-than-subtle grilling.


8. The glory-hunter.

No matter the industry, sector or job, you will find a glory-hunter.

Not sure who we mean? If their colleagues’ eyes automatically narrow the moment they start speaking, you’re generally looking at a glory-hunter.

9. The laugher.

There is someone with the most hideously annoying laugh in your workplace, isn’t there?

If your fists clench and your stomach tightens when they let out their trademark shriek, we feel you.

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