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Dublin: 13 °C Sunday 16 June, 2019
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8 people who've made worse decisions than you when drunk

“Drunken man found asleep on horse”.

EVER WOKEN UP with that impending sense of doom?

That “oh God what did I do last night? I remember two pigeons, a wheelie bin and a tube of pringles” feeling?

Fear not. These people have definitely made worse decisions than you after a few sherries…

1. Goldilocks

drunk Source: TheLocal.De

An old lady in Germany got a bit of a land when a woman in her fifties had too much to drink, made her way into a strange house, took a shower, got into bed, and went to sleep.

The Local.de reports that police were called after the pensioner waited for the woman to drift off. They came in, woke her up, and removed her from the premises.

2. Stowaway

caro Source: TheGuardian.co.uk

Lee Jezard ended up in court after he arrived at Birmingham Airport (where he wasn’t booked on any flight), climbed through the baggage carousel, and once he’d managed to sneak onto an empty plane and was discovered he told workers he was the co-pilot.

Unsurprisingly he was not the most convincing of co-pilots, having arrived at the airport after a ”drinking binge” with his mates in the city centre.

3. Shiver Me Timbers

sparrow Source: DailyRecord.co.uk

This is what we like to call ‘going down in a blaze of glory’.

The 51-year-old woman stole the ferry after a two-day bender.

To quote the Daily Record:

[She] told police she untied “two or three” of the mooring ropes because she kept tripping over them.
She said she then felt the boat moving and “noticed the hotels getting a long way away”.

4. Sacre bleu!

pill Source: DailyMail.co.uk

“Luke Harding was getting a cab home when he decided to go abroad”.

Standard.

5. Neigh-gerbombs

horse

Back to Germany for this one. A 26-year old man was making his way home from a drunken (and cold) night in Bavaria when he had a brainwave… cuddle up to a horse.

Huffington Post reports that the man was found asleep atop the animal’s back.

6. Send me the bill

denver

Not only did this woman punch a $30m painting at the Clyfford Still Museum in Denver. She “slid down it and urinated on herself” according to the Denver Post.

7. Woof justice

store Source: cbs46.com

Occifer! How dare you! Of course my dog can drive! His parallel parking is beyond compare!

This Georgia man actually had his dog taken away from him after leaving it in a roasting hot car outside the store, and then claiming that the pet drove them both there.

8. Delicious sleep

pillow

It’s possible that this is just a handbag that looks like a pizza pillow, but that’s good enough. Delicious, delicious pizza pillow.

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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