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The 11 most infuriating talkers in your office right now

We need a paradigm shift on these guys going forward.

1. Mr Office Jargon

Source: Shutterstock

I’ve got an idea. Before we take a holistic approach to get all our ducks in a row, let’s engage with a paradigm shift where you shut your cakehole.

2. Ms Lunch Judger

LETTUCE Source: whologwhy

“Are you having a burrito for lunch again? That’s AMAZING – I just couldn’t. I feel so unhealthy if I have carbs at lunch.”


3. Mr All Action

G.I. Joe Action Pilot Source: Flickr

“Let me just bang out this memo and we’ll punch up some numbers/kick some ideas around/batter this project to a bloody pulp.” JUST CALM DOWN, IT’S ONLY WORK.

4. Ms You Look Tired

Day 77, Project 365 - 1.7.10 Source: William Brawley

Delivered in a dulcet tone of concern. Has the effect of making you feel bad about yourself, your physical appearance, and your life choices. Presumably this is intentional.

5. Mr Same Joke Every Damn Time

You meet him in the corridor/by the water cooler/at the next urinal. He has one special joke that he uses for you, and he never misses an opportunity. You feel obliged to laugh politely even though you had the exact interaction yesterday.

6. Ms All Baby All Day All Night

Source: Shutterstock

Oh, your child recently gnawed her first cot bar? Delightful.

7. Mr Overeager McLick

Source: Shutterstock

“I was just doing my 6am spinning class at the gym this morning, and I was thinking maybe we should set up a few breakfast meetings before the workday gets going?”

STOP. You’re making us all look bad.

8. Ms Can’t Work My Computer

First Mass Produced Apple Computer Source: Jenn Durfey

“But if I turn it off and on again, won’t that damage it?” Also see: constant requests for help printing, total breakdown when called upon to type a euro sign.

9. Mr ‘I Can’t Believe’

Source: Tambako the Jaguar

“I can’t believe it’s Wednesday already! Oh my God, can you believe it’s September already? I can’t believe how this year has flown by!”

For some reason, there is one of these in every office. Hey man, time passes. It’s OK.

10. Ms Personal Phone Calls

Source: Shutterstock

You know so many details about this person’s personal existence, you could be their life coach. In fact, they might already have asked you to be if they hadn’t been so busy discussing the fact that Darren is RAGING with Aisling over what she did in McGrattans last Friday.

11. And finally, Mr Loud Eater 

Source: Shutterstock

OK, this isn’t strictly talking. But it IS noise and it may well be happening 12-24 inches from your ear as you read this.


Feel free to expose the most annoying people in your office in the comments. But let’s not name names, eh?

Look around your office… can you identify these 9 people?>

The 19 most annoying things about work>

About the author:

Michael Freeman

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