THERE AIN’T NO party like an Irish wedding party, right?
Here’s how you know you’re in the right place:
1. People finish every sentence with “thank God”
“Lovely day, thank God” (if it’s not raining)
“She got the weather for it, thank God” (also if it’s not raining)
“Sure at least the photos are inside, thank God” (if it’s raining)
“We don’t have far to go, thank God” (raining)
“Ah sure they’re still smiling, thank God” (Flickr/Creative Commons/JohnHope14)
2. You almost get your eye poked out with a fascinator
There will be a contest between the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to see who has the biggest headpiece.
Fascinating (Anna Gowthorpe/PA Wire)
3. People are starving
That period between a wedding mass and the bit of dinner is the time when Irish people are at their hungriest ever. Dying for a sandwich in their hand or an aul biscuit.
4. Accommodation comparisons
If you don’t have a conversation about how much you paid for the room you’re staying in, or why you opted for the B&B up the road, it’s not an Irish wedding.
You might throw in the odd “oh that’s great value, is that with the breakfast?” for good measure.
Sure it’s only up the road (Shutterstock.com)
5. Beef or salmon
If there is something other than beef or salmon (or some class of fish) on offer, then you’re either not at an Irish wedding, or there are ‘notions’ at play.
Is that… is that blood?! (Flickr/Creative Commons/Cipher)
6. Betting on the speeches
You can either bet on the times, or pass the glass of cash every time someone says “thanks”. Both are acceptable.
No colluding with the best man (NotOnTheHighStreet.com)
7. Jagerbombs as SOON as the speeches end
Well, the ‘winner’ of the bet has to spend their winnings, don’t they?
This will definitely cost more than your winnings. Way more. (Tumblr)
8. There’s rarely an open bar
That would lead to carnage. Or rumours that the happy couple had won the lotto.
9. Dancing to Galway Girl
It’s not a wedding until Mundy has been given at least one spin.
10. Ties around the heads
This signals the beginning of the AC/DC portion of the wedding when all of the men folk turn into rock gods, roll up their trousers legs and roar along to You Shook Me All Night Long.
They’re all rock stars. Just for a few minutes.
11. Women’s shoes everywhere
Their feet are KILLING them.
KILLING them (FitInClouds.com)
12. Cocktail sausages at half eleven
And a few sandwiches. Cut into triangles, naturally.
A few of these in your hand and you’ll be grand (Flickr/Creative Commons/Stevedepolo)
13. Followed swiftly by pieces of wedding cake
Fingers crossed it’s not fruit cake.
Doesn’t get more Irish than this (Facebook/OMGWACA)
14. At around 1am people start panicking about the residents bar
What time is it serving until? Can we all get in? Are there crisps? Who’s going to put drunk Uncle Patsy to bed?
